


give it to me (like you mean it)

by lgbtlouis



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1970s, Angst, Enemies to Friends, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Hate to Love, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, It's gonna be a wild ride, M/M, Period-Typical Homophobia, That's All I Can Think Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-05-19 04:51:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 20,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14866946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lgbtlouis/pseuds/lgbtlouis
Summary: "Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend? The girl every guy would kill to be with?" Louis asks, sharp and bitter and then promptly sucks his lips back into his mouth and turns away, staring resolutely down the lifeless, dark allyway. He hears Harry laugh again under his breath."Would you kill to be with her?" Harry asks, lips quirking.Louis quickly look back at him, his eyes burning into him. "No."or an AU based in the 1970's where Louis has a boring life, working in a little cafe in Prague when the city's most famous celebrity returns with a mystery boyfriend who isn't such a mystery to him anymore.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is the first fic I've ever planned to write at least more than 10k words for, I just want to get the first part out there so I can get feedback and opinions so don't expect the next part to come out in the next couple of weeks because I want to put something out there that I can be proud of and I love the 1970's era so why not just put Louis and Harry in with a little bit of my babies Ariana and Shawn (even if it's not obvious it's them). Please let me know if you think you'd like me to finish this or just scrap it all together but I have been working on this for a couple of months now, editing, writing and asking my lovely friends for tips and opinions. So, hopefully you enjoy and please share it as much as you can, I would love all the opinions and feedback possible.
> 
> A few things to note before you read:
> 
> \- Prague is a real city, the capital of the Czech Republic and my description of the town is based of just a bit of googling so it's not going to be completely accurate.  
> \- this fic will contain period-typical homophobia which might be a bit too much for some of you so just beware of that <3  
> \- Management decisions and mentions won't be accurate as this is purely fiction and I have no real idea on how it works!
> 
> Title is a song title by Cub Sport, a wonderful Australian band so please give them all the love!
> 
> Once I finish I'll link a playlist of songs I've either listen to while writing, mentioned in the fic or just felt like it reminded me of a certain part. Enjoy!

**January 17th, 1978.**

The sun begins to peak over the buildings of Prague, blazing orange and bright. Louis never fails to appreciate the way the soft light of first dawn contrasts against the beige buildings that stand tall, brooding and imposing.

Louis breathes out long and slow, peering up and down the quiet town. Slowly, the sun lights up the streets and the glowing signs are all flickering off, only the street lamps offer any radiance. They're weak, now, as the sun claws its way up the sky.

The soft sunlight kisses Louis' skin as he walks along the pavement. His scuffed, worn down shoes kicking loose stones and stepping over cracks in the paths.

"Morning, Lou!" His neighbour, Doris, greets with a small wave. She's old and frangible but she's one of the kindest people he's ever had the pleasure of meeting. She's the reason he isn't currently living on the streets.

"Hello, Doris. How are you this morning?" Louis asks politely. She laughs.

"Not too bad, isn't it a bit early to be up and about?" She questions, her tone playful and light. Louis grins.

"Heard Josie Clark will be in town today," Louis sighs as if it's enough of an explanation.

"Oh yes, I heard about that. Apparently she's bringing her model boyfriend with her," Doris snickers. Louis rolls his eyes.

"I think he's a bit too young for you, miss Doris."

"A girl can dream," She laughs before she waves him off and enters her home that's right below his.

Louis stares down the street, the sunlight a lot brighter as it covers the beginnings of the town, before he too climbs the stairs to his own home.

\--

 

It's early in the morning when it happens, the air is crisp, bitter and bites Louis' cheeks as he rides his bike down the cobbled road. Today is the day Prague's very own homegrown celebrity, Josie Clark, returns.

Louis, like everyone else, acknowledges that she is indeed beautiful, almost perfect considering her naturally flawless complexion and her body is almost like an hour glass. Despite all this, he can't help but be curious as to whom has obtained her heart, who has charmed her to such an extent that she kept it private for the sake of keeping the relationship healthy.

He shakes his thoughts out of his mind because really, why isn't he more excited for _the Josie Clark?_ All the other boys are delighted to be able to be in her presence but Louis? He is excited to be able to see a celebrity but not in the way the other boys are.

_"Josie Clark is such a babe!"_

_"That chick Josie Clark is so hot."_

_"Have you seen Josie Clark? She's smokin'"_

Louis would feel slightly uncomfortable when his friends would go as far as objectifying her but that might just be him. Although, when he doesn't include himself in the topic of Josie Clark's "hot" body, he would be thrown slurs that he'd rather not think about nor take into consideration.

He walks into work, a dainty little coffee shop on one of the busiest streets in Prague. He is embraced by a strong whiff of coffee beans and toast, he greets his boss, Ariana, then proceeds to go out back and put on his black apron.

In about two hour's time is when customers usually start to roll in and Louis makes their coffee's where as Liam and Zayn, the chefs, would make the food.

Louis hops up on the bench, swinging his legs lightly as Liam and Zayn emerge from the kitchen.

"Louis, Ariana is gonna kill you if she sees you sitting on the bench," is the first thing Liam says.

"Nice to see you too," Louis rolls his eyes playfully, remaining sat on the bench nevertheless. Zayn snorts, waving his hand at him dismissively.

"Oh, come on, Lou. You know no one wants to be here, especially with you here," Zayn teases. Louis rolls his eyes fondly and attempts to swing his leg far enough to hit Zayn in the shins.

Then, the bell attached to the glass doors chimes and the boy's attention switches to the source of the sound.

It's usually fairly busy around eight o'clock and considering it's only six in the morning, to say he's shocked to see a customer already pushing through the front doors would be an understatement.

The person who walks in is a boy with a black hoodie pulled over his head and tight black jeans, he knows about that much. He barely gets a look at his face even when he stands by the counter, waiting to be served. Louis hops off the bench and makes his way to the register.

"Hello Sir, how may I help you?" Louis greets, the boy looks up and Louis' breath gets caught in his throat. He has big green doe eyes, pale, milky white skin, lips bitten red from the morning cold and a very noticeable deep hinge of a jaw. He had curls spilling out from underneath his hoodie, wavy and loose here and there. The fact that he notices all this freaks him out a little.

"Just...a cappuccino," He says timidly, his voice is quiet yet still audibly deep.

"Sure, what's your name?" Louis asks as he clicks in the price.

The boy winces. "Uh, Harry?"

"Okay, Harry. That'll be six euros," Louis grins. The boy hesitates, his brows knit together tightly.

"You don't know me?" He asks shyly, Louis snorts.

"Am I suppose to—"

"Oh my god, is that Harry Styles?"

Louis' gaze flickers towards the entrance to see two girls, pointing towards the boy in front of him. Louis puts two and two together and gathers that _Harry_ is somewhat well known.

"Do you want me to take you out back?" Louis whispers, his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his lips.

"Please," Harry huffs amusedly. Louis gestures towards the gap that allows workers to walk past the counter and Harry follows him into the crew room.

"Just wait here and I'll bring you your coffee," Louis winks, Harry laughs loudly but then quickly muffles it with his hand. Louis smirks at that before he leaves to make his coffee.

"Excuse me," Is the first thing Louis hears when he makes it to his coffee station. There's the same two girls from before that seem to recognise Harry.

"Yes?" Louis hums.

"Have you seen Harry Styles?" She asks frantically, a little bit panicked. Louis shrugs nonchalantly.

"Can't say I have. Not really sure who he is to be honest," Louis says, pursing his lips carefully. The girls share a glance and then look back at Louis.

"Are you serious?" One of them ask with a gaping look.

"About what?"

"You don't know who Harry Styles is?"

Louis shakes his head. "No, I don't unfortunately."

"He's Josie Clark's model _and_ photographer boyfriend," One says dramatically, leaving her jaw open for extra measure.

Louis freezes. Harry is the mystery boyfriend? It makes sense that he's a model but Louis couldn't help the sinking feeling he gets when he realises he's hiding some celebrity in the crew room.

The boy he took out the back, the one he's currently making a coffee, the one he thinks looks unfairly gorgeous, is the same boy that's dating the most beautiful and famous girl in town. _Josie fucking Clark_.

"Sorry, I think you've mistaken him for someone else. That was just my co-worker," Louis lies breezily and the girls share a glance before they disappointedly shrug it off and leave the little coffee shop.

Louis' heart is beating in his ears when the realisation finally sets in. Josie Clark's mystery boyfriend isn't a mystery anymore, he's the pretty boy with the kind eyes and soft smile and contagious laugh that he is hiding out back. So, it's a lot considering Josie Clark is kinda a big deal. And maybe Louis shouldn't be thinking about a boy like that either.

"Louis, who's that random guy in the crew room?" Zayn asks rather abruptly and Louis hushes him, causing Zayn to look at him like he's insane.

"That's Harry Styles," Louis states as if Zayn would know.

"And? I'm Zayn Malik."

"Sorry, right, uh I mean Josie Clark's boyfriend," Louis explains in a hushed tone, his words slightly whispered like someone could hear what they're saying.

"Shit, Louis." Zayn starts to pace and Louis is trying not to panic, so, in that moment he decides it's a good idea to talk to Harry. For some reason.

"Harry?" Louis calls as he walks into the crew room, Harry looks up and meets his eyes and Louis probably shouldn't feel the way he does.

"Yeah?" He replies softly. He looks so frangible and overwhelmed and Louis kinda just wants to protect him.

"The girls are gone now," He says, a bit disappointed. Harry seems to feel the same way if the small frown is anything to go by.

"This cafe is really cute," Harry says instead. Louis blushes and honestly, he doesn't know why. It's Ariana's cafe.

"I know, I love it here. Everyone is lovely," Louis says sheepishly. Harry smiles fondly at him.

"What's your name?" Harry asks coyly. Louis is a bit taken back from all the attention and questions directed at him and Harry seems to notice as he outwardly laughs at Louis' genuine surprise.

"I'm Louis," he finally says after a moment of silence. Harry smiles somehow only widens at that.

"Louis," Harry says as if he's testing it out. "Nice to meet you, Louis."

Louis' can feel his heart beating in his ears. It's just strange to think that Harry is some celebrity.

"So, Harry, what's up with those girls following you?" Louis knows. He just wants to know if Harry will actually tell him.

"Oh, they think I'm dating Josie Clark," Harry shrugs, biting his lip unsurely.

"You aren't?" Louis asks, blatantly confused.

"Well, it's uh, complicated," Harry replies shyly. Louis can't help but give Harry a reassuring smile and Harry returns it with a bit more confidence.

"Louis, people are arriving. We need you out here," Zayn yells out from the kitchen.

"Be right there," Louis calls back before he turns back to smile apologetically at Harry. "Sorry, gotta get back to to work."

Harry smiles anyways and Louis feels accomplished for some reason. "I'll see you around?"

"Of course," Louis confirms. "Do you want to leave through the back door?"

"That'd be nice," Harry says and when he leaves, Louis goes back to work and enjoys his shift more than he has for the first time in a while.

\--

 

"I'm clocking off," Louis calls out to whoever is listening and a few co-workers say their goodbyes as Louis takes off his apron and begins to leave the café.

"Hey, Lou!" Ariana calls before Louis makes it to the door, he rolls his eyes with a small smile and turns on his heels with his eyebrows raised.

"Yes, Aria?" He grins, she's standing in front of him now with a smirk.

"Heard Harry Styles was in here this morning," She says, wiggling her eyebrows. "You guys like friends or something now?"

Louis shrugs. "I didn't even know who he was before today, but he did say I'll see you around?" He replies unsurely.

"Is that a question or a fact?" She teases.

"A fact," Louis snorts, rolling his eyes for the umpteenth time. She laughs at him but eventually dismisses him.

He steps outside after he says goodbye, the air is warmer than it was that morning but he couldn't help but notice the crowd of people standing along the paths on both sides of the cobbled streets. So, he let his curiosity get the better of him and he stands with the crowd, waiting for something he doesn't quite know.

Soon, the crowd erupts into a loud cheer, he spots a carriage up ahead but he doesn't know why it's earning such a reaction from the town.

Louis nudges the person beside him, a girl around his age with blonde curls and light freckles on her cheeks. "Do you know why everyone is cheering? Who is that?"

She turns to him and gives him a look like he's possibly insane—not the first time today. "Josie Clark and her boyfriend, Harry Styles."

Louis nods appreciatively but internally winces because he remembers Harry Styles himself clearly saying they weren't exactly dating, but Louis could have probably taken his words the wrong way.

The carriage makes it's way further up the street and this time Louis can see the very recognisable mop of curly hair as Harry waves to the crowd, a beaming smile on his face. Everyone around him is calling either Josie's or Harry's name but Louis just stares, hoping Harry's eyes will meet his and he can just try to figure him out because he's beyond confused at this point.

Eventually, Harry does notice Louis, and he knows this because when Harry sees him, his smile fades and he doesn't take his eyes off him for a second—he stares dumbfounded and guilty until Louis turns to leave. He decides it's time to go home now.

He manoeuvres through the crowd, feeling slightly disappointed for whatever reason. Maybe it's because Harry lied, but it's not like they were friends or anything. Louis continues to make his way through, letting out a frustrated huff when he notices the amount of people sat on the stairs to his apartment.

"Can you guys get off the stairs, please?" Louis attempts to be polite but it comes off sharp and bitter. It gets them to scatter off the stairs with rushed apologies though.

Louis hurries to his bed, he feels rather flat and his body is aching so he just lets himself fall onto his bed, grabs his spare pillow, and presses it over his face while he lets out a strangled noise.

 

-

 

Louis has a 9 hour shift today and he still feels rather deflated and of course, it's only fitting that the day begins with a rather heavy downpour.

It's 4:37am when he's rummaging through his closet to find an umbrella or even a coat for now. In the end, he finds a rather oversized caramel gabardine car coat and a small black umbrella that the rust somehow hasn't ruined it completely.

He steps out onto the path, the bitter air nipping at his cheeks and he knows they've turned a light shade of pink. On his short walk to work, he appreciates the sound of rain hitting the roof tiles and the umbrella above him. He indulges himself in the peaceful quiet of the sleeping town.

Once he's standing outside the cafe, he closes his umbrella and when he enters the door chimes. Ariana is standing behind the counter with one of his co-workers, Shawn and they're so caught up in their conversation that they don't even notice.

"We have to get this place up to scratch, we never know if they will come into the café," Ariana says sternly, gesturing to the messy arrangement of chairs and tables.

Shawn rolls his eyes, smiling softly. "Relax, Ari. I'll fix it up later, it's not like they're going to turn up at the break of dawn."

"You don't know that? Remember when Harry Styles came in it at like 6 in the morning?" Ariana raises her voice, her hands waving around as if it will prove her point. Louis makes his way over to them and slips past the counter, still not noticed by them.

"I sure do," Louis finally says to make himself known, Ariana and Shawn both turn to look at him and Shawn lets out a sigh of relief.

"Hi, Lou!" Ariana grins, Shawn uses the distraction to go out back into the kitchen to probably chat with Niall.

"Hey, Aria. What did I interrupt?" He asks, lifting himself onto the counter and earning an eye roll from Ariana.

"Just that Shawn fucked up the chairs and tables arrangement and there's a chance that Josie and Harry might come in today, we were called just before that they want to book out the whole café," She rambles, brows furrowed with a small pout.

"Right," Louis drawls. "Maybe you're over thinking this, let me handle it. It's not like they'll mind how the tables are sorted. What if they want a booth?"

Ariana hums. "That's true."

"Yes, I'm always right. What would you do without me?" Louis singsongs as he prances out to the crew room. He puts his umbrella and the coat into his locker, grabbing his apron and putting it on with a sigh. It's going to be a _long_ day.

-

 

By the time Ariana is in full panic mode, it's 8am. Louis is sweeping the floors, wiping the tables down and making sure it's up to scratch enough to please Ariana. Niall, Shawn, Ryan and Ethan are laughing out the back, shoving each other and singing Fleetwood Mac and Queen.

"When did you say they were coming?" Louis asks once again because honestly, he wants to avoid Harry as much as possible.

She looks up at the clock and clicks her tongue. "Any minute now."

"That's my cue to leave," he announces, slipping past the counter and into the kitchen with the rest of the boys. Ariana has that new cashier employee anyways, some girl called Emma.

"Hello lads," Louis calls, the boys all cheer when he enters and stop their rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody.

"How's Ariana coping?" Zayn snickers, nudging Shawn next to him.

Louis laughs. "She made me clean the tables at least five times, the new girl is a bit nervous about taking the famous couple's order though."

"How was that?" Niall rolls his eyes, smiling nevertheless.

Louis lets out a bark of humourless laughter. "Oh yeah, great. Tonnes of fun."

"Boys! They've arrived, shush!" Ariana hushes from the doorway, the boys snicker under their breaths so she doesn't notice once she goes back out front.

Louis sighs. "They better not order coffees or any form of barista beverage."

"Why? Jealous of Harry Styles?" Zayn jokes and the problem is that he actually considers it—not in the way they think he is.

"No, they just think they're the shit or summat," Louis lies. He knows it's because Harry lied but he didn't want to mention that to a room full of boys who sometimes go too far with their Josie Clark fantasies.

Ethan lets out burst of laughter. "That's because they _are._ "

"Louis, got some cappuccinos for you to make," Ariana calls out and the boys are all hooting, whistling and Louis flips them off as he walks out.

Louis makes sure he's hidden behind the coffee machine as he's makes up two cappuccinos as requested. Once he's done, he taps Ariana's shoulder who is getting the order together and he gestures to the coffees.

"Great, can you take them out to them please? They're just in the back corner booth," She grins and pats him on the back as she walks back into the kitchen, probably to tell the boys to shut up and do their jobs.

Louis has a small internal battle with himself as he lifts the coffees and walks past the counter into the dining area, he looks up for a second to see Harry's piercing green eyes burning into him and he almost drops everything at the sight, so he looks down at the coffees to avoid any eye contact.

He doesn't think he's mad at him, just very _very_ intimidated.

"Here are the two cappuccinos, enjoy!" Louis says in the most cheery way his nerves let him manage, he places the coffees down in front of them and he's quick to turn on his heels but before he can get far, a large hand wraps around his small wrist and pulls him back gently, skin hot and a panic seeping through him.

"Thank you, Louis," Harry smiles softly, Josie is looking at him with a confused expression so he just nods in his direction with a small smile and turns to leave once Harry finally lets go of his wrist.

"How'd it go?" Niall asks, a smirk on his lips.

Louis huffs and sits up on the kitchen bench. "He grabbed my wrist when I went to leave and said 'Thank you, Louis,'" Louis mimics Harry's deep voice and causes an eruption of laughs amongst the boys.

"What? Is he a fairy or something?" Ryan crows. The other boys are watching now, peering at them in amusement.

"Are you kidding? He's dating Josie Clark, how could he possibly be a fag?" Ethan snickers and the boys all erupt into raucous laughter, and Louis' stomach quivers. He pretends to laugh it off, when really, he hates the way they're talking about him.

Louis tries to focus on something else, _anything_. He notices that Zayn, Shawn, Ryan and Ethan are actually working on some intense breakfast, he's not surprised considering how loaded both Harry and Josie are.

"Niall, why aren't you helping?" Louis asks as he prods at Niall's chest.

Niall huffs. "I'm making sure they don't slack off and obviously waiting to eat the leftovers so they don't go to waste. You should know this by now, Tommo."

"Of course, you're so right! I'm the worst," Louis quips. Niall shrugs, grins cheekily and continues to talk to the working boys. Niall is probably the only person he can tolerate at work right now.

He doesn't know how he's gonna last another 6 hours of this.

—

"Hey Ari," Louis says as he walks out from the kitchen and slides his back down against the wall beside the hallway that leads to the crew room and kitchen.

"Why are you sitting on the floor?" Ariana sighs with a small smile, obviously still slightly frazzled.

"Is the talk of the town's fucking fantastic couple still here?" He asks instead and she nods towards Harry amusedly who's looking at him from the other side of the counter. _Shit._

Louis quickly stumbles as he stands up, pats down his apron and gives Harry a crinkly smile. He doesn't notice the way Harry has to bite down on his bottom lip to contain a smile.

"Yeah, unfortunately only half of that fucking fantastic couple is still here," Harry says with a pout, Louis doesn't know whether he hates him or just really wants to be closer to him.

"Where's miss Clark? I liked you better when you're with her," Louis shoots back. "You're a lot politer."

Harry fakes a gasp. "How dare you? I think I'm quite charming on my own."

"Of course you do," Louis rolls his eyes. Ariana looks between the two with a questioning look before intruding in on the conversation.

"Anyways," Ariana starts, dragging out the word. "Thanks for coming Harry, you better hurry out. I think Josie is waiting."

"Thank you for everything. Tell everyone we enjoyed our breakfast," Harry smiles politely. "Although one of your baristas has quite the mouth on him."

And then he walks out. Louis finally decides that he hates him.

"What have you been saying to him, Lou?" Ariana asks sternly and yeah, he definitely despises him now.

\--

Louis' shift finally ends and he feels relieved. Mainly because he has the next day off to just indulge in some alone time but also because it means he can avoid Harry with a lot more ease seeing as Harry can't find him if he stays in his own home.

It's two in the afternoon on a Sunday, the sun warms his skin and he holds his coat close to his chest. As he kicks the loose stones in the path, nearing closer to home, someone yanks on his arm and pulls him into a small, eerie alleyway.

It's Harry. Who else.

"Hi," Harry breathes, he's so close that Louis can feel the warmth and smell his coffee on his breath. He squirms slightly against the wall he's been backed up against.

"What do you want?" Louis huffs bitterly, eying Harry's arm that's resting against the wall right beside his head. He feels helpless.

Harry laughs breathlessly. "You don't seem too pleased to see me."

"I wonder why," Louis hums. "It's not like you told my boss I have _quite the mouth_ on me."

"I like your mouth," Harry says. Louis blinks, pushing Harry back gently.

"What?" Louis manages, Harry doesn't seem phased in the slightest.

"Want me to repeat myself?" Harry asks, somehow closer than he was originally.

"Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend? The girl every guy would kill to be with?" Louis asks, sharp and bitter and then promptly sucks his lips back into his mouth and turns away, staring resolutely down the lifeless, dark allyway. He hears Harry laugh again under his breath.

"Would you kill to be with her?" Harry asks, lips quirking.

Louis quickly look back at him, his eyes burning into him. "No."

"And why's that?" Harry hums, Louis almost snarls.

"I don't objectify women, if I fall in love with someone, so be it. I'm not going to go after someone I don't know just for the way they look," Louis says, feeling rather uncomfortable with the close proximity between them.

Harry's eyes flicker to his lips. "I like that."

"How did you even find me anyways?" Louis changes the subject, raising his eyebrows.

Harry shrugs cheekily. "I asked Ariana when your shift ended."

"Creep," Louis huffs out a quiet laugh, Harry grins.

"You love it," Harry says, fairly cocky.

Louis snorts. "Got quite the ego there, Styles?"

Harry drops his arm that was pressed against the wall, he stares at Louis for a second before lifts his hand to stroke Louis cheek gently with his thumb. Louis' stomach jumps, he feels skittish and stares at him wide eyed.

"Had an eyelash," Harry winks, stepping back with his lips quirked. And then he's walking down the alleyway, pulling his hood over his head.

Louis inhales deeply, what has he got himself into?

—

Turns out what was meant to be Louis day, ends up being lads night at Louis' apartment but instead they arrived around 1pm and it's gives Louis only an hour of alone time, because what's a day off work without a sleep in?

Niall is hogging the couch, Ryan, Ethan and Shawn are sat on the floor and Liam is peacefully sat squished at the end of the couch, Niall's feet in his lap.

"You know," Ryan begins, waving his hand around. "I think Josie deserves better."

Louis' attention is immediately grasped. "What do you mean?"

"I don't trust Harry Styles," Ethan chimes in, Ryan nudges his ribs.

"I'm telling you, he's a queer," Ryan barks out a laugh. The boys start to talk amongst each other but Louis just stares at the wall from the stool by his kitchen bench, draining out the maliciousness.

"Louis," Shawn is raising his voice and Louis shakes his head.

"Huh?" Louis says dumbly and Ryan rolls his eyes.

"You're friends with Harry, aren't you?" Ryan raises his eyebrows and grins, sickly.

Louis gulps visibly. "Not really."

"That's too bad," Ethan sighs. "Could've tested our theory out."

"Your theory?" Louis snarls. "What do you think I could do to find out if he likes dick?"

Ethan shrugs, still grinning. "I have a few things in mind?"

"Like what?" Louis deadpans, not really expecting an answer.

"You know," Ethan makes a crude gesture, poking his tongue into his cheek. The boys all erupt into raucous laughter, and Louis' stomach quivers. "A bit of that should do it."

"Yeah, I'm good," Louis tries to laugh the whole situation off, but he feels sick. Ethan can be an asshole.

"Lou, do you have any beer?" Niall yells lazily from the couch. Niall is the only one he really wants here right now.

"Yeah, 'course," Louis mumbles, hands shaking slightly and his heart still beating heavy.

Louis leans down to grab some beers. "I don't get why he's with Josie, man," Ryan grumbles. "Like, how did Harry sweep her up."

"Maybe because he's a model?" Louis offers as he walks over with a beer for Niall and himself.

Ryan groans. "It's still annoying."

"I think you're just jealous," Shawn quips, Niall and Louis laugh under their breath.

"I think you're just a queer like her boyfriend," Ryan spits at Shawn. Ethan hollers but the rest of the boys just watch quietly, not saying a thing.

Louis has frankly had enough of them at this point.

"I'm going out for a bit," Louis announces, threading his fingers through his hair. Niall and Shawn protest and try to prevent him from leaving but he's already out the door before they can say too much.

He feels himself slowly losing his sanity.

He inhales the frosty air, it's only early in the afternoon and the sun is almost hidden behind the quickly emerging clouds that sit, broad and gloomy upon the sky.

Louis doesn't really know where he's going, he just wants to be as far from that situation as possible because god knows how long it would take for Louis to finally snap.

Then, his thoughts find their way to the boy with emerald eyes and it's just so strange to think this way but he can't deny it anymore. He can't hate him and it's driving him mad.

Ethan and Ryan were just assholes who made him feel like he should be afraid, repulsed and even get him to believe he's gay. Which, wouldn't make sense on his part considering the girlfriend he has.

Louis wonders into a news agency and all he could see was _Harry and Josie_ , and even magazines with Harry modelling on the cover. He probably stares for too long to be considered normal but the blouse he's wearing allows the tattoos on his chest to peek through and now he wants to see _all_ of them.

Let's just say, he leaves the agency with a purchase he's most definitely going to regret later.

—

He arrives to work the next day, not looking forward to entailing an interrogation from the boys. Louis just hopes Ethan and Ryan don't have a shift today.

"Hey Ari," Louis greets as he makes his way past the counter and down the hall to the crew room.

"Louis, make sure you look presentable and keep your mouth shut unless you're saying something nice," She yells out. Louis pauses, turning himself around.

"Why?" Louis asks, concerned.

Ariana shrugs. "Just in case Harry and/or Josie turn up, I mean Harry came in yesterday asking for your roster."

"What?" Louis says, too sharp and a bit shaken.

"Yeah, he was asking if you were there," Ariana continues nonchalantly.

Louis breath gets clogged in his throat, just for a moment. "Why?"

"I don't know? Probably to give you a stern talking to for being a dickhead," She laughs outwardly, punching Louis' stomach lightly.

"Shut up," Louis rolls his eyes, smiling. "You're annoying."

"You don't really think that," Ariana chirps, muffling her laughs into her hand.

Louis ignores her, continuing to walk to the crew room in a sluggish manner because he really wasn't in the mood for a long shift.

"Louis!"

Niall wraps his arms around Louis' waist as he's pulls on his apron and sighs, not bothering to resist.

"Yes, Nialler?"

Niall lets go and stands back, head tilted. "You okay bud? what happened yesterday, where did you even go?"

Louis shrugs. "Wasn't feeling it."

Niall looks like he doesn't quite believe that.

"Alright," Niall sighs. "Just know I'm always here, I know Ethan and Ryan can be a bit much but there's always the rest of us?"

Louis smiles gratefully. "Thank you, Niall."

"Anyways, gotta get back to work. See you in a bit?" Niall asks as they start to naturally drift in different directions.

"Yeah, 'course," Louis waves and moves to his locker, placing his belongings inside.

-

Turns out, neither Harry or Josie turn up during his 8 hour shift. Usually, Louis would be relieved to not have to endure Harry's confusing mixed messages and Josie's dark glares but he couldn't help but turn to look at the entrance every time the bell chimes.

Ariana reminds him of his early shift the next morning before she instructs him to leave through the back door, he asked why but she didn't give him much other than "it's really crowded out there".

He puts away his apron, grabs his coat and wallet from his locker and heads out through the back door. He's pulling the door closed when he feels someone sneak up behind him.

"How was work?" Harry says directly into his ear, his body pressed against Louis' back. Louis jumps, a bit startled.

"What the fuck," Louis huffs, he flicks his eyes to Harry, who's gone back to leaning against the wall, one leg propped up and his arms crossed. His smile is wide and his dimples are deep, and Louis suppresses his sigh.

"You gonna answer my question, or are you gonna be rude?" Harry raises his eyebrows, smiling cheekily.

"Fine," Louis says, with little emotion. Harry laughs.

"You sound delighted to be in my presence," he says.

"What do you want me to do? Get on my knees and praise you?" Louis retorts, joining Harry on the wall.

Harry shrugs, his voice deep and smooth. "Depends what would follow, I like the sound of you on your knees."

"Hey," Louis smacks his arm, laughing lightly. "Watch your mouth, mate."

Harry pushes himself off the wall and gets in Louis' space, his face so close that Louis he see every freckle. "I bet you do that a lot."

Louis prods at Harry's chest. "And I bet you're not supposed to be here, why are you here anyways?"

"You know," Harry drawls, inching closer. "Just can't get enough of you, I even have your roster memorised."

Louis rolls his eyes. "I'm serious."

"And I'm serious too," Harry pouts, clearly being dramatic.

"Does Ariana really tell you all my roster times?" Louis asks with a tilt of his head.

Harry hums. "She's an angel, don't what I would do without her."

"I don't get it," Louis mumbles, dropping his head. 

"What don't you get?" Harry asks, and he sounds genuinely concerned, quieter.

Louis pushes Harry away without much force. "I don't get why you keep...turning up everywhere? Acting like you're trying to get something out of this."

"Are you serious?" Harry's brows furrow but this time he just seems frustrated. "I've been trying to get closer to you since the day I met you."

Louis slides his back against the wall, huffing out a sigh. Harry joins him, staring at him with a look of concern, maybe he's confused too. Louis doesn't really know what's happening. It seems that lately, he's in a perpetual state of pretending that he's content with everything and everyone around him and all of this just adds onto the weight he feels.

"What are you trying to do?" Louis ends up asking. Harry rests his head on Louis' shoulder, his curls tickling the crook of his neck.

"Wanna be your friend," Harry says softly.

Louis turns to him. "Then why can't you be?"

"Because my manager thinks befriending a boy will damage my image," Harry says, his breathing getting a little deeper, a little heavier.

"How?" Louis asks, genuinely curious.

"Apparently if I have any sort of relation to a boy it will resurface old rumours," Harry explains vaguely. Louis knows what he means, he's heard it all from Ethan and Ryan.

Louis closes his eyes briefly. Because he just needs a minute to himself, to push it all away. But it sits there, weighs dark and heavy in his ribs, and he wants the ground they're sat on to open up and swallow him. He composes himself slightly. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, whatever. Now you know why I've been sneaking around to see you," He says, his voice is all breathy, and Louis has to refrain himself from raising his eyebrows. He seems nervous.

"You know you can just come to mine whenever, you don't have to hide behind where I work and wait for me to leave," Louis snickers, trying to ease the obvious tension that's settled.

Harry lifts his head, a smile creeping on his lips. "Really?"

"Of course, I'm always here. I know you might need a break from your interesting life of a celebrity and just hang out with someone that's outside of all that," Louis says, realising the little proximity between them.

"Thank you," Harry says earnestly. "Honestly, thought you hated me."

Louis grins. "I used to."

"Hey," Harry pouts, affronted. "You like me now, though?"

"'Course," Louis giggles, pinching Harry's cheek. "How could I not?"


	2. Chapter 2

The week carries on in a series of cold, bitter weather that envelopes Prague with occasional snowfall that sticks to the tips of the pines and dusts the rooftops. Things feel a little different than before, Louis can't quite figure out if it's a good thing or not.

It's been a few days since Harry and Louis cleared the air and discussed what was going on. Louis is leading Harry to his apartment, broken only by Harry's occasional, soft humming as they float down the sidewalk. Louis' ridden these streets for years, has explored every crack and crevice of the cobblestone. As Louis reaches the stairs, his heart beats a little harder in his chest.

"Welcome to my mess of an apartment," Louis says as he opens the door. Harry's eyes scan the room and his whole face lights up. "What are you smiling at, you psycho?"

Harry shrugs. "It's just very you."

"I'm a mess?" Louis huffs out a laugh, Harry rolls his eyes.

"No," Harry replies, smiling gently. Louis ignores him.

"Anyways," Louis begins as he falls onto his couch ungracefully. "You can come over whenever, don't even need a warning."

Harry raises his eyebrows, sitting on the edge of the couch. "What if you're in the middle of something that requires privacy?"

"What are you implying, Styles?" Louis says, the syllables breaking off into a breathy chuckle as he adjusts himself on the couch. Harry's eyes follow the movement.

"Dunno," Harry smirks. "You tell me."

"You're dirty," Louis mutters in amusement and disbelief. "I don't know how Josie puts up with you."

Harry shifts uncomfortably, his smile fading as he inhales deeply.

"Did I say something?" Louis asks, genuinely concerned.

Harry shakes his head, his jaw slightly clenched. "I just hate lying to you."

"What are you lying about?" Louis asks gently, scooting over so he's sat closer to him. Harry doesn't answer, just looks down at his feet. Louis understands that maybe he's not ready to share everything and he's quite content with just giving him comfort while Harry has a lot of pressure weighing on his shoulders.

"Hey," Louis says, quiet. "You can have my spare key if you want? So, if you're ever feeling like this and too caught up in work, I'm always here when you need me, yeah?"

Harry's face softens, finally turning to meet Louis' eyes. "Thank you."

"Always," Louis says sincerely. He means every word, and that scares him.

\--

It's a Friday night, he doesn't have a shift the next day so he's quite frankly prepared to get smashed tonight. Niall, Ethan, Ryan and Zayn are all sat along the bar, downing shots and most likely annoying everyone around them.

"Hey mate," Niall begins, nudging him gently. "You alright? You seem tense."

Louis shrugs. "I'm alright."

"Come on, lighten up," Niall grins, he sips his beer with a wink.

"You know," Ethan is saying, demanding the attention of all their friends. "Apparently Josie was spotted with some other dude today."

Louis shifts uncomfortably on the bar stool he's sat on, keeping his gaze on his hands. He wonders if Harry is okay, if Harry even knows.

"Probably found out about her boyfriend's secret life," Ryan snickers, taking what seems to be his umpteenth shot. Louis and Niall both roll their eyes.

Niall leans into Louis' side, whispering. "I think he's convinced himself Harry is _actually_ gay so he thinks he has a chance."

Louis snorts. "Right?"

"Hey Lou!" Ryan's words are already slurred, he's never been a friendly drunk. Somehow he's even more obnoxiously rude and self centred.

"What?" Louis deadpans, not really paying attention as he calls out to the bartender for another shot.

Ryan hiccups. "That babe over there looks like she really wants you."

"And?" Louis retorts, not giving him much attention. He doesn't even look at the girl he's blatantly pointing at. It's like he thinks she can't see him.

"You haven't gotten laid once since I met you," He attempts to explain, his words sluggish and almost impossible to understand.

Louis rolls his eyes. "Why would I tell you if I get laid?"

"Because that's just gay if you don't."

Louis shudders at the phrase, at the words. Recently it's like the word itself has just been following him around, constantly being prodded at him and taking over his thoughts entirely.

Louis asks for more shots, some a little stronger than before. He's proving to himself that he's not something society has constantly pegged at him as something wrong, something he can't be. It's just unnatural.

He ends up approaching the girl Ryan referred to, her eyes taking in his every curve, his jaw, his ass. He tries to ignore the guilt he feels, the repulse, but she makes the first move and he just takes it. Let's her kiss his neck, her teeth nibbling on the skin behind his ear.

She has blonde curls and a pale complexion. She has a petite frame and looks as if she's extremely fragile and dainty yet she portrays a dominance that Louis can't find in himself in that moment.

Maybe, when she leads him out he should of stopped her. Maybe, when she asks him to take her home, he should've declined. Maybe he shouldn't have let Ryan get to him. But he did.

When they reach Louis' place, she reaches for the hem of his shirt and tugs him inside. She's clearly far more intoxicated than him, he could taste it on her tongue. He could see the arousal lighting up her hazel eyes instantaneously.

She pushes him onto the couch, falling on his back ungracefully as she straddles him hungrily. He kisses her, his hands find their way to her neck and he feels wrong, guilty even.

The girl who remains unnamed begins to tug on his jeans, attempting to unbuckle them but she fumbles and huffs in frustration.

Then the door opens.

"Louis, I'm so sorry to barge in like this but I can't fucking take this anymore, they want me to fake a proposal—" Harry pauses, his eyes widening when Louis basically pushes the girl off of him, she falls onto the floor like a rag doll. "Oh, sorry. I'll go."

"No!" Louis scrambles off the couch, fixing his jeans up as he hurries to the door. "Wait, Harry, stop."

Harry stops at the door frame, swivelling around to face him. There's tears stained on his cheeks, his eyes are puffy and red. Louis' heart breaks a little.

"You're clearly busy," Harry sniffles, hugging himself uncomfortably.

Louis clenches his eyes shut, not baring to meet his eyes. He feels like he might cry himself. "I'm not, I don't even know her. Hell, I don't even know her name."

Harry raises an eyebrow. "Planning for a one night stand, Tomlinson?"

"I don't even know, my friends were getting on my nerves," Louis sighs. "It's like I was trying to prove a point."

The girl suddenly wraps herself around Louis, biting his shoulder and he tenses up noticeably. Enough for Harry to giggle lightly, which, undoubtably made the situation lighter.

"She's fallen for your charm already," Harry chuckles, a little breathless. Somehow it still sounds sad and Louis just wants to change that.

"I have charm?" Louis grins, cocking his hip teasingly. When Harry's eyes travel down to follow the movement his gaze comes to a halt when he notices his neck.

"It looks like she tried to eat your fucking neck," Harry says, slightly concerned. He reaches out to gently trace his fingers along the hickey on his neck, his skin hot on his fingertips. Louis just stares at the way Harry's brows furrow, his eyes completely focused on the marks on his skin. Harry brushes his thumb over the bruises, the palm of his hand resting on the side of his neck.

"Harry," Louis murmurs, getting Harry to look at him. He sucks in a deep breath, Harry's hand still on his neck and Harry moves closer.

"Are you Harry Styles?" The girls slurs, still completely drunk. She eventually drops to her knees, getting in between them to tug on Harry's jeans. He holds onto her hands, lifting her up as she loses her balance and places a supportive hand on her back..

"You need to lie down, love," Harry tells her softly and she just lets her weight fall onto him. Harry chuckles, his mouth curling into a half smile. He looks back up at Louis. "Is it alright if we just lay her down on your couch?"

Louis hums. "Sure, I don't mind."

Harry nods appreciatively as he guides her to the couch, gently lying her down and placing a pillow under her head. "Do you have a bucket? And maybe a glass of water?"

"Yeah, the buckets under the sink and I'll go get the water," Louis says, already heading to his cabinet to get a glass and fill it with water. He would find this whole occurrence bizarre but he's probably not nearly sober enough to really be aware of that.

Harry places a bucket on the floor beside the now sleeping girl and Louis places the glass right beside it, smiling softly at Harry.

"Thank you," Louis says, quiet.

"Anything for you," Harry grins, patting Louis' cheek. Louis doesn't even have the energy to roll his eyes at him at this point.

There's a silence. Harry and Louis just stare, small smiles and a warm feeling coursing through Louis. He doesn't quite understand what's going on, or what he is to Harry. He doesn't understand much lately, it's like he's in a constant state of confusion and perplexity.

"Lou?" Harry whispers, for no necessary reason. Louis hums. "Are you drunk?"

Louis giggles. "Hm, maybe."

"Okay, time for bed. Come on, up you get," Harry instructs, attempting to lead Louis to his bedroom.

"I want to shower," Louis whines, pouting dramatically. "I smell like girl."

Harry rolls his eyes. "I feel like your mother."

"Shower," Louis repeats childishly.

"What do you want me to do about it?" Harry laughs at him, grinning amusedly.

Louis smirks. "Help me."

"Okay, you were fine a second ago. I'm not dumb," Harry snickers, stepping closer, getting in his space.

"Fine, you caught me," Louis huffs a laugh, his heart beats a little fast. Harry's face gets closer, so close that he feel his warm breath fan his face.

Harry's eyes fall onto his lips, then he slowly drops his head. "You should sleep."

"Okay," Louis says. "Goodnight, Harry."

"Goodnight, Lou."

 

\--

 

It's a quiet day at the cafe, Louis is in the kitchen with Ryan, Ethan, Shawn and Niall and he's quite content sitting on the bench, kicking Niall every once in a while when he would make some crude comment.

"Don't know if you heard but Josie Clark and Harry Styles have been looking pretty loved up ever since the Josie scandal," Niall announces to whoever is listening, but Louis knows it's to provoke Ethan and Ryan. Although, he can't help but feel some weird twisted feeling in his gut. He still hasn't quite grasped what causes it.

Ryan rolls his eyes, clearly already peeved. "So sick of hearing that fag's name."

"Can you stop calling him that for once in your life?" Louis seethes, raising his voice. All the boys have gone quiet and yeah, maybe he shouldn't have said anything but he's so mad and upset all at the same time and it's not a good mix.

"Since when did you like the fairy?" Ethan snickers, sitting up on the bench beside Louis. He drops his head slowly, avoiding his malicious glare.

Louis huffs. "I don't."

"Maybe Louis is one too," Ryan grins, sickly. Niall groans.

"I literally hooked up with some girl last weekend, dickhead," Louis rolls his eyes, a little too defensive to be considered a joke.

Ryan snorts. "It was a joke, chill out."

"No one was laughing," Niall says. That shuts them up.

Part of him, feels guilty for lying. He's supposed to be Harry's friend and he's giving into their teasing and prodding and he's better than that. He thinks he isn't.

"Louis, Josie wants to see you," Ariana calls from the doorway. Louis can see the way most of the boy's jaws drop comically and he can't help but be smug for a split second before furrowing his brows in confusion.

"Wait, why?" Louis yells back but Ariana's already gone back out front. Guess he's finding out for himself.

"You better gives us the details when you get back, Tomlinson," Ryan mumbles. Louis ignores him.

When Louis makes his way to the front counter, he'd admit that he was expecting Harry to be along side Josie. He was wrong. She's leaning against the counter, her brunette curls covering the sides of her face slightly and when she finally notices Louis' presence, she looks up and smiles brightly at him.

"Louis, is it?" She asks politely, fixing her posture.

Louis hums. "That'd be me, what's the problem?"

"Oh no, there's no problem," Josie is quick to assure. "Just want to have a quick chat."

Louis is hesitant at first. Why wouldn't he be? He doesn't know her, she could be the biggest asshole for all he knows. Especially with the amount of trauma the relationship and management has put Harry through. "Of course," He ends up saying.

She gestures for him to sit at a table with him, so he gives her a small smile and follows closely behind.

"This might be a lot," Josie begins to say once they've both sat down. "I'm sure you know that Harry has been struggling a bit lately, he's informed me of your close friendship."

Louis tries not to smile.

"And I know this might seem a bit extreme," She continues and Louis knows where this is going. "But I think you need to give him some space." _He saw that coming._

Louis clears his throat, squirming in his chair uncomfortably. "Um, why?"

"Sorry?" She replies with and Louis tries so hard not to roll his eyes. It was a pretty straight forward question.

"Why do I 'need' to keep my distance?" Louis asks again, emphasising the word need.

Josie pauses for a moment. "It's just best for him if you just leave him be for a while."

"I'd rather hear this from him, I mean, we were fine the other night," Louis explains and if he really thinks about it, maybe they weren't so fine after all. The goodbye was quite abrupt.

"The other night?"

Shit, has Harry been sneaking over? "Yeah, he came over for a chat."

"I didn't know that he's been visiting you," She mumbles bitterly under her breath, her sweet facade fading slightly.

Louis stands up and tucks his chair in. "I should probably go back to work—"

"Keep your distance from him, alright?" Josie says, her tone dead serious and her brows tightly knitted together.

"Yeah, whatever." Louis doesn't need to look at back at her to know that her eyes are burning into the back of his head, she probably hates him more than she used to. She seems like she has to have complete control over Harry and who he's friends with.

Louis walks into the kitchen and is instantly pegged with questions and demands, he didn't expect anything else.

"What the fuck did she say?"

"What happened?"

"Tomlinson, spill it."

Louis grins smugly, feeling superior for once. He knows something they don't.

"Nothing big," Louis shrugs nonchalantly, setting the boys off into rowdiness and arguing.

Ryan seems to be the most annoyed of them all. Shocker. "Louis I swear to god," Ryan seethes, Louis blinks harshly when he gets in his space. He's never been one to be able to contain his anger.

"I'm going to talk to Ari," Louis announces, walking out of the kitchen and attempting to find his boss. She would be a lot easier to handle.

"Louis," A small voice squeaks, Louis turns on his heels to see Emma at the register with an old lady at the register. Doris, to be exact.

"What's wrong, love?" Louis asks, his voice soft. Emma looks overwhelmed, a little stressed out.

Emma sighs. "She's ordered something I didn't know we had."

Louis grins, looking towards Doris. "Hello, Doris. The usual?"

"Yes. Thank you, Lou," Doris says, handing over the exact amount of cash to Emma. Louis starts Doris' order, noticing Emma's deep sigh once Doris goes to sit down.

"You right, Em?" Louis asks, smiling.

She groans. "I want to go home."

"Join the club, love." Louis finishes the coffee, quickly takes it over to Doris and then returns to a grinning Emma.

"Louis," Emma says suddenly, she's on the verge of a laugh.

Louis frowns slightly. "What?"

"What's that mark on your neck?" Emma giggles, referring to the poorly covered hickey.

Louis huffs. "This girl was so horny that I think she wanted to eat me."

Emma cups his hands over his ears. "I didn't want the bloody story."

"What?" Louis smirks. "Don't act so innocent."

"I am innocent," Emma huffs, rolling her eyes.

Louis hums. "Sure."

Emma attempts to trip Louis as he's goes for his lunch break, and somehow, he successfully avoids the boys for the rest of his shift.

-

Louis' not sure how he ends up at a party, especially considering he was planning a night in. The room smells strongly of weed and alcohol, and he feels lonely.

He keeps putting this facade up where he's this happy, confident person who can go out, fuck a stranger and then go on with their life the next day. He's not, though. His friends like to think he is though.

"Are you right?" Some girl called Sarah asks hesitantly, peering closer. Louis stares out into the backyard of some strangers house, all he knows is Niall knows the host and Ryan and Ethan just had to go.

"Yeah," Louis says, still staring. "Just bored."

"You don't have to be," She whispers, sensual. The girl shuffles her feet and flicks her long, blonde hair tucked behind her ears and flowing down her back.

"I'm okay," Louis assures, coughing awkwardly. He knows if Ryan or Ethan saw, he wouldn't hear the end of this because the truth is, the girl is undoubtably gorgeous. A perfect figure, beautiful eyes and definitely a girl that most guys would never give up the chance to hook up with.

He just wasn't feeling it.

The girl gives up, moving onto someone else and he's alone again. He's cold, so cold. The bitter air bites at his cheeks, he's probably turning pink.

"Harry," Louis huffs out a breath of cold air, he can't stop thinking about Harry and just everything to do with him. Why he has to stay away, why management is so controlling over his image. He wonders if he's happy right now, with Josie.

Louis tries not to think about the concept of Harry being in love with someone like Josie. He tries not to think about what they do, he hates that it makes him angry. It's not like he has any control over Harry either.

He misses Harry. He misses the banter and the closeness and their dynamic. Night sufficiently ruined, and feeling particularly hurt for whatever reason, Louis turns away from the empty backyard and starts to thread himself through the clumps of people inside, hoping to avoid anyone that wants to talk to him, particularly Ryan and Ethan.

Obviously, nothing ever seems to go his way, and as he's making a beeline for the bathroom when Ryan yanks on his arm, tugging him towards the basement where a group of people are sat in a circle. Including Ethan, Shawn and Niall.

"I found him," Ryan cheers, the boys holler and the girls sat in the circle remain to look disinterested. He doesn't really care much for them anyways.

Louis scans around the room, then, finally he settles on Niall and sends him a pleading glare. He hopes he's not as oblivious as he usually is.

Niall clears his throat, standing up and patting down his jeans. "I need to go to the bathroom. Louis, wanna come?"

He understood.

Louis nods and pulls himself out of Ryan's grip, following Niall back up the stairs. "What were you guys doing down there?"

"Spin the bottle or something dumb like that, I could tell you weren't feeling it though," Niall smiles gently, stopping as they get out and close the door behind them that leads to the basement. "You alright?"

"Yeah," Louis says, shifting his weight against the wall. "Just not in the mood, at all."

Niall pats Louis' cheek lightly, giggling. "Could see it in your eyes, mate."

"Someone's a bit tipsy," Louis snorts an amused laugh, feeling a little lighter.

"Not me," Niall pouts dramatically. "I'm fine."

Louis hums, clearly not believing a word Niall is saying. "Do you think we could just hang at my place, watch a movie?"

"That sounds fun, for sure," Niall grins, patting him on the back and leading the way because Niall has the route to Louis' place memorised by now.

The air is a magnet when he steps out of the car, frigid and crisp in his nose, almost painful. Underfoot, the gravel is loose and crunches under his shoes, little puffs of dust flicking up against the backs of his bare legs but Niall is clinging onto him and explaining his dream from the night before and Louis couldn't feel anymore content than he does right now.

-

Louis wakes up the next morning practically suffocating, but warm. The sunlight is bright as it falls on his eyes. He groans, squirming underneath and weight he's only just noticed. It's Niall, his arms are loose around his waist and he's pretty sure Niall is drooling on his chest.

"Niall," Louis sighs, nudging him gently. Nothing. Louis inhales deeply, "Niall!"

"Huh—" Niall yelps as he tumbles off the couch, falling onto the wooden floor. "Fucking hell, Louis. You scared me."

Louis laughs obnoxiously, clutching his stomach to try calm down his laughter.

"You're such a spaz," Niall moans, rolling onto his back. "Did I do anything dumb last night?"

"Don't act like you were that drunk," Louis scoffs. "We watched a movie and you fell asleep on me."

"That sucks," Niall huffs, sitting up and leaning on the back of his hands.

Louis shrugs. "Better than hearing Ryan call Harry gay with as many different ways as he can."

Niall laughs outwardly. "That is true, my friend."

"Want a cuppa?" Louis asks, standing up from the couch and heading to the kitchen.

"Yes please," Niall calls out, slumping back on the floor.

Louis prepares the teas, knowing exactly how Niall likes his tea due to the countless times he's made it for him while humming a song under his breath. Well, maybe it's more than just a hum.

 

_But now there's no way to hide, since you pushed my love aside. I'm outta my head, hopelessly devoted to you._

"Did we watch grease last night?" Niall asks sleepily, causing Louis to jump, turn on his heels and his eyes to widen at Niall standing just outside of the kitchen. "Also, lovely voice, mate."

Louis clears his throat, awkward. "Um, thanks? And uh, probably. Why are you in here? You should know I need to be in peace to master the art of tea."

"Right," Niall drawls amusedly, not moving from the doorway he's leant against.

There's a knock at the door and both Niall and Louis' head snap to the source of the sound.

"Who's visiting you this early in the morning," Niall asks, genuinely confused.

Louis shrugs, then laughs. "It's nearly noon."

"Doesn't feel like it," Niall says as if it changes anything. Louis ignores him and heads to the door, opening it to something he didn't expect. Like, at all.

"Lou," Harry breathes, his eyes pleading but also bright.

"What are you doing here?" Too sharp, too bitter.

Harry walks closer, breathing heavily. Too close to be normal. "I needed to see you."

"You can't be here," Louis mumbles reluctantly.

"What the fuck is Harry Styles doing here?" Niall gapes, Louis turns quickly and tries to signal for him to give him a moment. So, he shakes his head in bewilderment before heading to Louis' room.

Harry dips his head. "Sorry, didn't know you had company."

"You know Josie came in while I was working to basically tell me to fuck off?" Louis asks, placing his hand on his hip. Harry inhales sharply, his eyes widening.

"Louis, I'm so sorry. I didn't know she was going to do that," Harry apologies profusely, placing his hand on Louis' arm.

Louis pulls away, a small pout on his lips. "I'm kind of sick of this, Harry. It's like our fucking friendship is some dirty secret that no one can know about, I feel like the scum of the fucking earth when the girl you're dating for whatever reason hates my guts. I don't understand, do you really need to do this?"

He hates the way his voice sounds, because he's not angry at Harry. Maybe, he's just angry at everything that's around them.

"You don't get it, do you?" Harry says softly, too tired to even try.

"What, Harry? What don't I get? You know, I can't read your fucking mind," Louis almost hisses, he doesn't even know why he's so angry. Maybe, he's just afraid.

Harry flinches, Louis' heart aches. "You're different. I don't know how it happened or why I need you so much but," Harry pauses, worrying at his bottom lip. "But, right now, you're the only person that doesn't make me feel like some trophy. I feel normal, I feel like I can be myself with you and only you because these people who have control over me want me to be something I'm not and it fucking sucks, alright?"

"Yeah," Louis sighs, avoiding eye contact by staring at his feet. Harry's fingers reach for his chin, tilting his head up so they're looking right into each others eyes. "Harry," Louis whispers, soft and it feels like their roles in the conversation at the beginning has just switched.

Harry's fingers haven't moved, his eyes looking up and down and Louis knows this isn't right. So, Louis lightly holds Harry's wrist and guides it back down.

"I think you should go, I have people coming over," Louis says, technically it's not a lie but Ariana isn't coming over for another hour or so. Well, he decided to invite her over halfway through their conversation.

"Okay, Bye. Thank you."

Louis closes the door. He couldn't last another second.

"I think I should go home," Niall announces as he emerges from Louis' room.

"Wait, what? Why?" Louis panics, what did Niall even see?

"I just, I don't know. I'll call you later, yeah?" Niall smiles sympathetically, Louis' whole world feels like it's just falling around him. Slowly closing in on him.

"Okay," is all Louis says. And then he's alone, he calls Ariana and begs for her to come over and she tells him she'll be there in about an hour since she's still has work for about half an hour. He doesn't really know what to do with himself at this point.

He puts on Grease again and somehow, that's enough to get him to fall asleep on the couch.

-

"Lou? Get up you lazy bastard."

"Huh?" Louis drawls, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands.

"You feel asleep, bub," Ariana grins teasingly. She's squatting beside the couch, her dimples visible in her cheeks and her eyebrows raised, completely smug.

"Yeah, you took forever," Louis tries to shoot back with but his drowsiness is no help whatsoever.

"Don't miss me too much," She snickers, patting his cheek lightly before sitting on the opposite end of the couch and entwining their legs. "Now, what's the matter?"

Louis sits up, making sure not to tangle their legs further and groans. "I'm having boy troubles."

"Ah, I see. Now, is this a friend I know of?" She asks intently, giggling a little.

Louis shrugs. "Kinda."

She furrows her brows. "What do you mean kinda?"

"I mean, you've met him a few times but you don't know him," Louis says, laughing at her confusion.

"Okay, whatever," She waves him off. "Just, what's the deal?"

"I don't know, he just acts really weird with me. Like, I don't think he knows what personal space is," Louis attempts to explain, Ariana only grows more confused.

"Maybe he's just affectionate? You know, boys are allowed to show affection too," Ariana suggests with a small grin. Louis hums.

"Yeah but, that's the thing. What would you think if he would touch your neck and get so close that you feel his fucking breath on your face?" Louis asks, waving his hands around in attempt to make his statement make more sense.

Ariana hums softly. "I guess he just really likes you," she giggles. Louis rolls his eyes, kicking her gently.

"That was weak, come on. Man up you pussy," Ariana laughs outwardly, kicking Louis back with more intent.

"You're a bitch," Louis huffs.

"You're a wanker."

"Wuss."

"Dick."

"Airhead."

"Dork."

"Dingus."

"What the fuck is that?" Ariana snorts. "Like Dirty Dingus Magee?"

Louis shrugs, smiling slightly. "I don't know, I just said it."

"You're dumb," Ariana pokes Louis' ribs with the tip of her toe, grinning like an idiot.

Louis grimaces. "That hurt."

"I'm wearing socks, suck it up princess," Ariana laughs, wriggling her legs a little bit.

"I could still feel your nail through it, you could of probably killed me," Louis cries out dramatically, pretending to faint in his sat down position.

Ariana giggles quietly. "You're so dramatic, you should be an actor."

"And you sing whenever you're bored but do I advise you to be a singer?" Louis sits up, attempting to be sassy but Ariana only finds him endearing.

"You love my singing, honestly don't know why we're not roomies," Ariana says, untangling their legs and sitting up.

"Maybe because we'd end up killing each other," Louis says, fake seriousness. Ariana stands up, Louis following her to the dining table.

Ariana takes a seat at the table, crossing her arms and resting her head on the table. "Feed me."

"Do you want me to poison you?" Louis huffs a laugh. "I could go get something from town? I'm not cooking."

Ariana looks up at him, rolling her eyes. "Whatever, I'm staying right here."

"Like I'm to leave you alone in my apartment, uh no thank you," Louis laughs, pulling Ariana up from the table and dragging her down the stairs, and onto the pavement.

Ariana sighs dramatically, her shoulders slumping and trying to look as annoyed as she possibly can. Louis nudges her gently, grinning fondly. "Come on, look like you at least tolerate me."

"Fuck off, Tomlinson," Ariana says, trying to seem angry but she ends up giggling, Louis suddenly puts his arms around her waist and lifts her off the ground in a tight hug.

"We are not on a last name basis, Grande," Louis yells into the back of neck and she squirms, laughing hysterically.

"It looks like you're trying to murder me, st-stop!" Ariana squeals, eventually getting put back on her feet. She quickly slaps his arm and they continue to walk down the pavement, looking for a place to have lunch at.

"So what are we feeling?" Louis ponders, his eyes wandering along the buildings and restaurants. "Pizza? Chips?"

"Wow, sounds healthy," Ariana grins. "How about we go to Café Louve?"

"Fancy," Louis drawls appreciatively. "Let's do it."

From there, they chat animatedly as they enter and take a seat and Louis feels himself feeling lighter just by hearing Ariana's laughter, her dimples making an appearance and how she brightens everything around her. It's why he wants to keep her as his best friend, have her in his life for as long as he can.

At first Louis admires the decor of the dainty restaurant, the colour scheme that consists of reds, chandeliers hanging along the ceiling. He feels content, but there's something at the back of his mind. Growing louder and more translucent as if it needs to be acknowledged and known for it's presence.

"Can I tell you something?" Louis begins, biting his lip gently. Ariana look up from her menu and nods attentively.

"You remember Harry Styles?" Louis asks her, she raises her eyebrows but nods anyways. "We're kinda friends, like he comes over to my house quite often."

Ariana chokes, Louis doesn't know how she manages it but he does know that she's struggling to breathe normally again. "I literally thought that was like a one time thing, Louis what the fuck why didn't you tell me before?"

"I don't know," Louis blinks, stumbling over his words. "I haven't told anyone to be fair."

"Why not?" Ariana asks rather blatantly.

Louis visibly gulps. "Because I didn't think he wanted anyone to know."

"Why not?" Ariana asks, noticeably quieter than before, face softening.

"I don't know, he kinda always made our meetings as secret as possible," Louis pauses, sighing softly. "I mean, he'd always only see me when there was no one around. Except for this morning."

"What happened this morning?" Ariana interrupts, clearly intrigued.

Louis goes to answer but then there's a loud thud that comes from outside and he can see paparazzi and a massive amount of people crowding around from the outside of the restaurant, Louis feels like he has an idea of what might be the cause of the sudden attraction of people.

"Can we go back to mine?" Louis asks, almost begging. Ariana lifts an eyebrow, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

"Okay?" Ariana says as she gets up and follows Louis to the exit of the restaurant, then with a bit of cheek, "as long as you buy me food on the way back."

Louis rolls his eyes and shoves her shoulder. "Yeah, yeah. I guess I owe you."

"Love you, best friend," Ariana puts his hands over her heart, smiling like a dork. Louis laughs and shoves her gently again, and they walk away from the crowds.

And if Louis looks back to the source of the crowd to see Harry, who has a soft smile on his face and is already looking back and finally notices the bubbling warmth that settles in his stomach when Harry's smile widens. Well, then no one has to know.

-

Despite the chills that winter brings, Louis feels warmly nestled inside Ariana's office at work. Ariana provided a soft blanket her Nonna made and a hot chocolate she made herself. He doesn't know what he did to deserve her.

"I don't understand how she isn't your mother or your girlfriend," Niall says nonchalantly as he enters the office, sitting on her desk and facing Louis who's sat in a tight ball with the blanket tightly wrapped around his body.

"First of all, I would _never_ date Ari," Louis scoffs—just as Ariana walks in.

She pinches his cheek, rolling her eyes. "Same to you, mate. I mean you're looking fucking ragged this morning."

"I told you I felt like shit," Louis pouts, stretching his leg out in attempt to kick her. She easily steps back to dodge it and grins menacingly.

"Come on, you lazy bastard. Up you get, you're lucky Shawn is covering your shift," Ariana chirps with too much enthusiasm considering the choice of words.

"I'm comfy," Louis whines, leaning his head back and groaning. Ariana huffs amusedly and leaves to presumably go back to work.

"Sometimes you act like you're siblings with how much you both bicker. It's doing me bloody head in," Niall says, bringing the attention back to himself.

"Do you think we're dating or that we hate each other? Make up your mind, mate," Louis snorts, resting his chin on his folded arms that are wrapped around his legs.

"Why are you even here if you're sick?" Niall segues, not even answering his question. Louis shrugs.

"Guess I'm just bored," Louis says. "And a little lonely."

"Aw, poor Lou," Niall mockingly cooes, Louis rolls his eyes and twists his body so he's facing away.

"We need to talk," Niall suddenly says. And then Louis remembers. Niall saw Harry. Niall saw a lot of things.

"Do we?" Louis asks softly, weak and a little nervous. Niall nods, smiling slightly. "Okay, fine."

Niall nudges Louis with his leg, getting Louis to look at him. "Why are you hiding Harry?"

"I'm not!" Louis almost yells. "He's hiding us."

Niall tilts his head. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"His management is real weird about Harry having any interactions with males because of the rumours," Louis explains for what feels like the hundredth time but realistically, probably only the third time. It's just a lot.

"Oh," Niall says, quiet. "I mean, that makes sense."

"It's cruel," Louis says, too sharp, too bitter.

Niall sighs. "Yeah, it is."

"I mean, he can't even be friends with a dude without gay rumours circulating," Louis complains, jaw slightly clenched.

"Louis, calm down," Niall hushes, placing a hand on his shoulder and squeezing gently.

"Sorry," Louis mumbles weakly, sniffling. "It's just been on my mind a lot lately."

"It's okay," Niall says softly.

"It's not fair."

"I know," Niall frowns deeply.

"Who are you talking about?"

It's Ryan. Who else.

"No one," Louis says but at the exact same time Niall replies with "Harry Styles."

"Why?" Ryan scoffs, spiteful. And if one of them is being an asshole, it can't be without the other. So, Ethan joins them shortly after Ryan's bitter reaction.

"Did I hear Harry Styles?" Ethan tuts, smirking maliciously.

"No," Louis deadpans. "I'm not going to waste my time talking about some conceited, privileged celebrity."

Niall looks at him, he can feel all the words he's mentally saying and the judgement is evident in the way his forehead crinkles slightly. He hates how stuck he feels.

"Good, I'm sick of hearing the fairy's name," Ryan grimaces, nudging Ethan to encourage him to make a comment. He only grunts in agreement. Louis rolls his eyes for the umpteenth time.

"I think I'm gonna go home," Louis announces, unwrapping himself from the blanket and stumbles a bit as he stands.

Ariana walks in suddenly, grabbing Louis and pulling him out of her office and Louis hates to admit that he might have made the most high pitched sound of surprise, that honestly, he didn't even know he could make.

"What's the fucking problem," Louis grumbles but she doesn't have to answer when he sees Harry at the counter and to say he looked hurt would be a complete understatement.

"Conceited?"

"Har-"

"You know, I came to ask you to help me make the biggest decision of my fucking life," Harry hisses, his voice deep and strained. Louis gets a mix of emotions from the way Harry glares at him and he has to look away, anywhere. Just not at him.

"I didn't mean it," Louis mumbles, frangible and small. Harry huffs, his eyes filling with fire as each second passes.

"Fuck you, fuck whatever this friendship was," and then he's gone. He leaves without another glance, another word, not even another sound. Louis' heart feels heavy, it also feels like it's not there at all.

And then there's a voice from behind him, enraged.

"You're friends with him? With the fucking fag? Are you joking? I can't fucking believe you, Louis. You lied? Hell, you're probably a fucking fag as well. Fuck."

Ryan. He saw everything. He saw the hurt he caused Harry, he saw how much Louis means to Harry. How much he _meant._

Ariana stares at him, he can't read how she's feeling but he knows it can't be good. She walks away eventually and he's alone, in the hallway of the back area. He slides his back against the wall, curling himself up into a ball and feels his whole life collapsing around him. Closing in around him.

He's never felt this alone before.


	3. Chapter 3

Outside, the clouds are deep-grey, misshapen spheres that are blending together and engulfing the early evening.

Louis wouldn't know, his curtains closed and darkness closing in around him. The air's becoming suffocating - or maybe it's just getting harder to breathe, his chest tightening and his heart burning in his chest.

The walls look plain, and tedious. Louis notices this because his droopy, strained eyes has been focusing on the white of the walls for the past half an hour while a series of thoughts and why why why's keep him busy and in the palpable silence that's settled in his room.

He doesn't want to think about the situation he's currently in. The most important people in his life currently seem to want nothing to do with him and he has no idea how'd he find Harry again. Only Harry can make that move.

Louis has work in an hour, he's well aware of the fact he's going to have to face Ariana, Ryan, Ethan and the rest of his co-workers again. To say he was dreading it would be a complete understatement. Maybe they'll forget it ever happened and let him be. Although, he knows Ryan and Ethan will have something to say about it, he knows that.

Once he finally gets the motivation to put on his uniform, he's out of the house for the first time in days and the air is cold and thick in his nose, that unique scent that settles right before a storm. Underfoot, the gravel before the sidewalk is loose and crunches under his shoes, little puffs of dust flicking up against the backs of his black skinny jeans.

The heavy sound of his shoes against the footpath towards the cafe rings in his head, panic slowly seeping in, twisting and burning his insides.

The ding of the bell attached to the front door causes a wave of realisation that he has to face them, he has to face what he's been avoiding for days.

"Hi, Lou. Where've you been? You haven't been answering the phone," Ariana says the second she spots him, concern written all over her face. That wasn't what he expected.

"What? You're not mad at me?" Louis gaps.

Ariana snorts. "No, of course not. I think Harry might be a little pissed but I'm fine."

"Oh," Louis breathes, his heart still heavy in his chest. "That's good, I guess. What about Ryan and Ethan?"

"Who cares what those knobs think, get your apron on, the coffee has been shit for the past few days," Ariana instructs amusedly, waving him off dismissively. Louis rolls his eyes, heading to the crew room.

As Louis puts on his apron, he realises that he's slowly detaching from the boys that work out back, glad to be away from Ryan and Ethan, particularly. Although, Louis tries to keep good ground between all of them, just for Niall's sake.

"Whoa, what do we have here?"

Louis was just about to close his locker when Ryan shoves him abruptly, a giant smile on his face. Ethan hovering behind him, of course.

First, Louis' entire body goes into panic, ready to push him back. When he sees Ryan's face, the maliciousness in his eyes, he freezes.

"What do you want?" Louis sneers, squirming in his grip.

"Why didn't you tell us that the chick you messed around with was actually Harry Styles?" Ryan asks, laughing coldly. Ethan encouraging his behaviour.

"Mate, we were friends," Louis spits. "Not anymore, obviously."

"He came in yesterday with Josie," Ethan comments casually.

"Josie told us about your secret little rendezvous," Ryan continues, grinning sickly. "What did you and the fairy do on your own, huh?"

"We were friends."

"Ryan. Ethan."

Louis feels Ryan's grip loosen immediately. It was Ariana, Niall standing beside her. He hasn't loved them more than he does right now.

"Get to work," Ariana says sternly, Louis tries not to laugh at the way Ryan and Ethan scatter off like scared cats, heads down and a fast pace.

"Maybe you should try fix things with Harry," Niall suggests, soft and quiet. Ariana nods in agreement, her lips skewed.

"How? I don't know how to contact him, where to find him, he only knows where I live."

"I have an idea," Niall says, Ariana turns to him and raises an eyebrow.

"You do?" Ariana asks, confused. "Because I don't. I would've just said that you're fucked."

Niall rolls his eyes. "Harry and Josie will be appearing at a new cafe opening that's named after Josie, the Clark Cafe," Niall informs, Louis snorts.

"Of course she's getting a fucking restaurant named after her," Louis laughs bitterly.

"What's your problem with her? It's your mate's girl after all," Niall asks, genuinely confused by the distaste towards the celebrity.

"Last time I talked to her she told me to leave Harry alone and that we can't be mates," Louis rolls his eyes. He didn't care what she said, it didn't stop Harry from coming over.

"Sounds like she feels threatened by you," Ariana sing songs.

Louis sighs. "Why would she feel threatened?"

"Well, you guys have gotten a lot closer, closer than she has ever been with him," Ariana grins. It's Niall's turn to sigh.

"Yes, I have noticed that. What are you trying to say?" Niall asks, monotoned.

Ariana rolls her eyes. "Is Harry the boy you told me about? Doesn't know about personal space?"

Louis sighs and nods begrudgingly.

"Case closed," Ariana laughs, clapping her hands together triumphantly. Niall bites down a smile.

"Yeah but Josie is his girlfriend," Louis tries, he feels like he's said this a million times. Maybe to himself more than out loud.

"And? She seems like a bitch, he'd probably rather hang out with his best friend," Ariana reasons, smiling smugly.

"Why would I be his best friend?"

"Have you seen him with anyone _but_ her?" Niall chimes in, Ariana gestures to Niall dramatically as if he just said the amazing thing in the world.

"Fair enough," Louis huffs, sliding his back against the lockers and plopping on the cold floor. "What do I do?"

"Talk to him? Just a suggestion," Ariana giggles, Niall snorting at her remark.

"So when's the cafe opening up?"

~

Louis breathes. In. Out. In and out again, slower. He feels like the crowd in swallowing him, he should've expected that celebrities as big as Harry and Josie would attract such a large crowd but for some reason that didn't really cross his mind.

He'd been waiting for them to appear for an hour now, and still nothing. Louis tries to manoeuvre through the crowd, find an opening or somewhere he get out of the heap of people. He's so lost in his own thoughts as it is, rubbing his hands up and down his arms vigorously once he slips out the crowd, that as the goes to round the corner into a thin alleyway, he trips over someone's feet. Instinctively, he reaches out to latch on to whoever it is he's fallen over to stop himself from toppling over, he let out a startled shout and stumbled slightly.

"Louis," Harry sighs breathlessly.

Louis stares at him, speechless. "What are you doing hiding in an alleyway? Are you insane? Someones going to spot you."

Harry smiles softly at him, voice gentle. "Someone did."

"I was waiting for you, I needed to talk to you but I just didn't know where to find you-"

"Lou," Harry breathes. "Stop."

"Are you mad at me? I miss you, I kept waiting for you to visit me, I'm sorry," Louis rambles, Harry just stares at him, his eyes scanning his face.

"Stop talking before I do something...I might regret," Harry says, voice low and husky, his face inching closer.

"What? Are you going to hit me?" Louis asks trying to appear confident when, really, he can feel his heart pounding against his chest. Harry's face softens, Louis can feel Harry's quick, small breaths on his face.

"I'm not going to hit you," Harry sighs, gentle and somewhat guilty.

Louis pats Harry's cheek softly. "Hey, no. I just wanted to apologise, for what I said. I didn't mean it."

"Then why'd you say it?" Harry asks staring down at their feet, avoiding Louis' eyes.

Louis huffs. "I let my dumb co-workers rile me up and I was sick of being called something I'm not."

Harry looks up suddenly. "What did they call you?" Harry whispers, Louis doesn't know why, they're talking so quietly.

"Fag."

"Lou," Harry says, his eyes softening. Louis can't look away. "It's just a derogatory remark used to belittle others, I hear it daily. I've learnt to take it, you can't choose who you love."

"It's scary though," Louis sighs. Barely audible.

"What is?" Harry asks, his head tilted slightly.

"Falling in love with someone you can't have," Louis says.

"What do you mean?" Harry asks, getting closer. And closer.

"Someone that isn't socially acceptable to love."

"Is this from experience?" Harry asks, quiet and slow. At the close proximity, Louis can smell the alcohol on his breath.

Louis knows he's drunk, but he chooses not to ask. "I don't know."

Harry stares at him curiously, as if Louis had more to say.

"I'm sorry," Louis mumbles, barely audible as he drops his head. But the thing is, he's right there, so close that Louis can feel his warmth, can smell the cologne on him.

Louis glances up slowly, his gaze lifting from Harry's feet, that almost entwine with his, all the way up to his eyes.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Harry says. The light that seeps into the alleyway is so dim that everything is cast in shadow, he can't read Harry's face. It feels as though Harry has him trapped against the wall, Louis can't move, can't breathe. Louis can't do anything but look at Harry's eyes that skim over his face, land on his lips.

"Harry," Louis breathes, there's fear in his tone. Telling himself to push him away, remind him that he's supposed to be somewhere. With Josie.

But Harry dips his mouth closer, their noses bump. He can feel Harry's warm breath on his lips, and when he shifts slightly, they brush together, barely. Louis attempts to stifle a gasp, obviously not expecting it yet he doesn't move. He can't move.

Louis swallows, electricity shocking through him, his lips tingling. It's starts so unbelievably dedicate but the second Harry realises Louis hasn't made an attempt to stop him, he pushes his body against him and licks his lips. Louis gasps and Harry uses that as an opportunity to gain access to his mouth.

But then he pulls away. Stares at Louis with an unreadable expression and then ducks out of the alleyway, presumably to the opening he was supposed to appear at moments ago.

Louis doesn't move, he feels his whole world enclosing around him. He can hear the screaming, Josie starting her speech but it all blurs together and everything looks like it's spinning. 

Louis stumbles through the crowd, following the sound, trying to see what's happening. Josie is on a stand, giving a speech about something Louis can't even find the words to focus on because Harry is next to her, grinning at her.

He doesn't know how to feel. What to think. What to do. He doesn't even know who he could tell about all this.

His lips are still tingling, his heart is pounding yet he feels himself wanting Harry closer and he doesn't understand why, he doesn't know why he needs to feel him again. He thinks he shouldn't be feeling this way but it's hard to ignore something so palpable now.

Louis watches Harry, he watches him kneel down on one knee, he watches him pull a small box out of his pocket and he watches Josie cry, scream her yes's and the crowd erupting around him.

He watches until not only does his mind go blank but his vision blurs, everything looks like it closes in on him, trapping him a small space. But it's not. Nothing's moving.

He doesn't know whether to scream or cry. He doesn't know if he's angry at Josie or Harry. Maybe he just hates himself for letting this happen. For letting Harry get to him.

~

The following days go by dreadfully slow, it was harrowing, really. Louis dreads his next shift. He's paranoid, worried that they'll find out. What if they already know?

Louis keeps reminding himself how ridiculous he's being, trying to repress those thoughts because how would they know? What is he even trying to hide?

He makes it to work before he can debate whether to call in sick again, but he knows Ariana will call him out on his bullshit. He does it too often nowadays.

"Louis, long time since I've seen you here," Ariana sing songs as she's preparing a coffee. He rolls his eyes.

"It's only been a week," Louis scoffs, Ariana huffs and serves the coffee to a waiting costumer to then greet Louis properly with a tight hug.

"You seem tense," Ariana comments, her face squished into Louis chest. Louis hangs his arms around her waist loosely, resting his chin on top of her head and shrugs.

"Just tired," Louis tells her.

Ariana hums, swinging them and then finally letting go, giving him a dopey smile. "Okay, go clock on."

"Yes miss," Louis laughs. It's nice to feel like somethings still normal, nothing changed with them and that's all he really needs in a time like this. Even if he doesn't know what exactly that is. He's still trying to figure that out.

Then he's thinking about it again. Why it bothers him so much is beyond him. Yet, being kissed by someone and then seeing that same person propose to someone else is...baffling. He doesn't quite know how to grasp the idea yet. And Harry of all people.

The more he thinks about it, the angrier he gets. The sadder he feels. Maybe even a hint of jealously. He feels so manipulated and he doesn't know why, Harry is a fucking boy. It's not right. It shouldn't be right but that's not how it feels.

Because why would he miss him so much. Why does he miss those few seconds of Harry pressed up against him, his tongue in his mouth. The way he could still taste Harry on his lips once it was over.

"Louis," Emma deadpans, Louis looks away from his Cappuccino. His _overflowing_ Cappuccino.

"Fuck," Louis hisses, pulling his hand away and rushing to the tap, placing his hand under the cold running water.

"Are you alright? Should I tell Ari?" Emma asks, following him to the sink.

"Fuck. No, I've missed enough shifts as it is," Louis says, his hand still under the running water.

Emma frowns. "I can continue making coffees for a bit, I've been getting trained while you've been MIA."

"Thank you, Emma. That'd be amazing, I'll just take orders I guess," Louis smiles. Genuine and sincere. She smiles back and restarts the Cappuccino, Louis really needs to focus.

He can't stop thinking about it. Harry kissed him to then propose to someone else. To Josie. Louis isn't one to hate people but he despises her. He could feel his fists clench to the point that they turned a pale white, heat rising up to his face. This has to be a joke.

"What's on your mind?" Emma asks nonchalantly. Louis huffs, trying to calm down before he lashes out.

"I don't know even know, I'm still trying to understand it," Louis tells her, avoiding her concerned eyes. She frowns, her brows tightly knitted together and her hand resting on her hip.

"Care to explain?" She asks.

"Has someone ever kissed you and then got engaged to _someone else_ straight after?" Louis laughs sadly.

"Oh shit," Emma sighs. "Did you like her?"

Louis tenses visibly, he feels like he's going to be sick.

"Sorry, shouldn't have asked."

"No, it's okay," Louis rushes to say before she can turn to go back to making coffees. "I think I'm just going to go home, I can't focus."

She nods silently, not asking further questions and continues to go back to work. That leaves Louis to convince Ariana to let him go early.

He sneaks past the kitchen to Ariana's office, which of course, has Ryan in there with her.

"Ariana, I need to talk to you."

Ariana looks up and raises her eyebrows, Ryan glaring at him warily.

"I know I haven't been here enough but I have a lot happening right now—"

"Is this about Harry?" She interrupts, Ryan's attention is grasped and he perks up.

"Harry Styles?" Ryan gapes. "The one who proposed to Josie last week?"

Ariana hums, frowning. "If you're asking to go home, you can. I could hear you burning yourself from here."

"Oh, you heard that?" Louis asks sheepishly. She grins, nodding. "Sorry, I got distracted."

"Why are you apologising? I'm not the one who got burnt," Ariana snorts, she turns to Ryan who's snickering. "You can't laugh, you're still in trouble."

Ryan goes silent.

"Okay, thank you Ari. See you Friday?" Louis says as he backs out of her office.

"I better."

~

On the way home he practically checks every alleyway for Harry since he always seems to be hiding within them. Thoughts of Harry are consuming his mind, the deep rumble of his voice as he whispers in his ear, the thought of his body pressed up against him. But this scares him. It scares him to realise how much he craves Harry. How much he desires him, a man. Louis urges his body to stop betraying him, he knows he shouldn't have these thoughts.

Louis' desire for Harry seizes in an instant as soon as he enters his apartment. The second he opens the door, Harry is sat on his table, smiling up at him innocently, like he didn't just crush Louis and change his life as he knew it just a few days prior. Seeing Harry in his apartment made the situation all the more real for Louis. Who did he think he was? Harry had made his heart soar, then plummet in just minutes, he had played with Louis' heart for long enough. Although Louis couldn't deny how he craves for Harry's attention, he refuses to allow himself to fall for someone who wouldn't be there to catch him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Louis says spitefully. Harry flinches, almost making Louis regret his words. Louis' heart was battling his mind. His mind was telling him this shouldn't happen, it can't. Harry was a boy, already making him off limits, not to mention the fact that he is now engaged. But his heart was telling him otherwise. Seeing Harry made his heart ache, and he couldn't help but notice how beautiful he looks staring up at him. Louis pulls himself out of his trance, he despises Harry right now, and that's how it should be.

"I guess I have a lot to explain," hesitance clear in Harry's words and movements, he stands up and cautiously makes his way over to Louis who's still stood by the door in an attempt to show his defiance.

"Yes you fucking do," Louis spits bitterly, backing himself against the door. Harry doesn't react, instead, just moves closer. Harry breathes over his neck, before pushing closer to pepper kisses all along his neck, down to his collarbones making Louis gasp. The anger that was once consuming him disappeared, he let lust take over.

"You see," Harry says, the words muffled against his neck. "I didn't choose to propose to Josie."

Louis visibly tenses at the mention of her name. Louis' mind slips into its possessive nature. Louis despises her, hates that she tried to stop this from happening.

Louis feels Harry chuckle into his neck. "Are you jealous, baby?" Harry smirks, his eyes going dark. "I don't love her, don't worry."

Louis' words are simultaneously laced with confusion about Josie and excitement about the prospect of Harry sticking around, Harry being his. Louis kicks himself for thinking too far ahead, he shouldn't even want Harry, he's a man.

"Then why did you—"

"Management. Wanted to keep my image straight."

Harry kisses up his neck, his jaw, the corners of his mouth.

"Fuck, Harry," Louis huffs, trying to pry him off. "Stop, I don't get this. Th-this, isn't okay. It's not right."

"Lou," Harry breathes, trying to hold him but Louis pushes him away, his eyes watering. He's never been more overwhelmed in his life, emotions that he had been holding in are all pouring out through the cracks at once. He sobs, his back sliding against the door, falling into a heap on the floor. He pulls his knees to his chest and hides his face in his hands. He's confused and scared at his own emotions, how had he let this happen? He had promised himself to remain strong, to fight the urges, but deep down, Louis knows Harry could have him in any way he desired within seconds.

Harry sits next to him, leaving a clear gap between them to ensure Louis' comfort. "Louis, you know what I like about you the most?"

Louis looks up, doesn't say anything just sniffles and shakes his head.

"You're so brave," Harry says. "So unapologetic of who you are."

Louis remains silent.

"You weren't afraid to have an attitude with me even when you found who I am, usually people talk to me like I'm not even human," Harry continues, rambling absentmindedly. "That's what I loved about you. Don't let this change that."

"I didn't think. I- does that mean I'm," Louis pauses. "What am I?"

"You're Louis and who you love doesn't change any of that," Harry says gently. "You're still who you were before you—and I hope I'm not getting ahead of myself here—but, you're still the same person you were before you realised that maybe you can love boys like you love girls too."

Louis sucks in a breath when Harry wipes away a tear with the pad of his thumb, smiling sadly. Louis looks so frangible, so small.

"I care about you, a lot."

Louis tries to smile. "I care about you too much, it's scary."

"I knew it," Harry giggles. Louis hits his arm. "That was pathetic."

"Shut up I'm sad," Louis pouts, crossing his arms over his chest dramatically. Harry kisses the pout right off.

"Hey, don't be a menace," Louis whines, kicking a laughing Harry away who's arms are outstretched while making obnoxious kissy noises.

Louis and Harry mess around, tackling each other to the ground, Louis tickling Harry whenever he sneaks kisses everywhere he can. Harry eventually pins a squirming Louis to the ground, giggling loudly.

"I like your mouth," Harry smiles lazily.

"So you've said," Louis snickers. Harry pouts, being as dramatic as ever. "Fine, you can kiss me you drama queen."

So he does.

~

Something about the end of winter and the beginning of spring, brings an uplifting feeling to the following weeks. When the clouds roll over the hills they're soft and white, engulfing majority of the sky with the last of the light snow falling gently and slow. Soon the flurry of spring will roll around the mountains.

It's the warm smell of coffee and cinnamon, the pleasing beige colours of the buildings and people shovelling snow, clearing paths. It's Queen's latest album on repeat, it's the radio that plays Pink Floyd, Michael Jackson and Led Zeppelin every time he works. The sun rises over the buildings blinding and sharp, turning the navy haze that covered the streets into warm peach and gold.

When Louis works, his attitude also noticeably changes. He interacts with the costumers more, wishing them a good day and genuinely sounding like he enjoys his job. Something in the atmosphere has shifted.

Quite frankly, Louis can't quite believe his luck. He knows his small streak won't last a lot longer. It's inevitable.

Louis clocks off, a full shift of no Ryan, Ethan and rude costumers and home on his mind. Although, Home has a new meaning now, home means Harry.

Louis is removing his apron, feeling giddy and planning to just go home and watch Grease with Harry again because although Louis won't admit it, the ways Harry sings sends chills up his spine and he could listen to it hours on end.

Then his good mood comes to a complete halt, Ryan strides into the room that Louis knows he was right to be skeptical, Ryan's ego radiating off him like it's a fragrance. Louis thought he could go a full day without something minor going wrong, it proves difficult a lot of the time.

"Whoa! hold up!" Ryan hollers. Louis was just about to pull his hoodie over his head when Ryan shoves him abruptly, a giant smile on his face.

Louis immediately grows irritated, ready to shove him back but then Ryan interrupts.

"What have we got here?" Ryan crows. "You been going around without telling me, Lou? I've been trying to get you laid for years."

He prods at the marks on Louis' neck. Purple, fresh and sensitive. Louis turns away and tugs his hoodie over his head sharply, skin hot. Ryan stares at him, grinning menacingly.

"It's none of your business," he says to Ryan, trying to make his voice light, trying to make it sound like a joke. In reality, he can feel the heat in his stomach, crawling up his neck, anger rising. He needs to be more careful.

"Who's the girl, then?" Ryan raises his eyebrows and grins, sickly.

Louis turns away and starts putting his apron into his bag.

"Oh, come on," Ryan pleads. "You gotta give me some details, it's only fair."

He pretends to be amused, shoves Ryan away playfully, when really, he wants him out of his space. Wants to go home.

"I'm not gonna tell you anything, mate," Louis zips up his bag sharply.

"I've seen you've been happier lately," Ryan says, and Louis feels like he's going to be sick. He feels caught out, by Ryan of all people, too. At Louis' expression, Ryan lets out another laugh, mistaking his fear. "Aw, you're proper hung up on her, aren't ya?"

There's an awkward beat that passes, where Ryan is grinning sickly at him, and Louis swallows thickly, avoiding his eyes and choosing not to answer any of the various questions.

"I'll see you next shift," Louis says, eager to leave, to run.

"Later," Ryan says, wiggling his fingers in a tiny, mocking wave.

"Bye," Louis says quietly. He pushes the back door open hastily, heart beating in his ears. The second the door is closed behind him, he pushes his first step against the gravel and swiftly runs home.

~

Louis manages to make it home, his legs somehow not giving in and the constant anxiety that follows him, all contained behind his cheeks, in his eyes. Something always feels wrong, he's hiding, not telling a soul about how he's really feeling because what would that make of him? He doesn't know how to ignore it anymore. He feels trapped. Scared. Unauthentic.

Louis unlocks the door, expecting to see Harry awaiting inside, the only part of his life that makes him feel somewhat real and genuine to himself, even if he keeps it hidden. Louis was really just waiting to get home, needing to feel good.

He doesn't remember when being around Harry started to feel good, it used to be a hassle having to read him, the taboo of it all and the unnecessary feeling like it was wrong for wanting him to be around. Now it's easy, it's easy to just be open, to just feel like you're falling into place with someone like it was supposed to happen.

It didn't make sense to him but then Harry would come over while Louis was in a harmful headspace, hidden under the duvet. Harry would sit at his feet, talk to him, go on a spiel on how his day went. In the moment it made the burning feeling in the pit of his stomach simmer but once they fell asleep, Louis would feel warm, arms and legs wrapped around him, holding on to him like he's afraid he'll wake up to just another empty bed.

Yet, he felt so angry, so frustrated. Because why does society give a fuck who he loves, why does the media hide this Harry. The Harry that cares about everyone around, the Harry that puts others above him, the Harry that loves with everything in him and treats everyone he meets with nothing other than kindness. Why do they portray him to be some conceited, insensitive womaniser.

Sometimes he would cry, silently. He doesn't know why people receive different treatment all based on who they love. It makes him want to scream, he feels so, so trapped and restricted to be authentic and true to who he really is. _it's not fair_ , Louis would basically chant that phrase in his head— _it's not fucking fair_ —all until he fell asleep.

So, feeling utterly hurt and disconnected from everything around him, he decides he just wants to go to bed. Sleep forever, never wake up, not until it was all over. He doesn't want to live in world where who he is isn't accepted. He wants to wake up and feel human.

If Louis would continue to question the societal expectations that everyone seemingly goes along with, he would be questioning every aspect of what is expected of a human being. In other words, it would be a waste of time. It's a concept he'll never be able to understand.

He tries to falls asleep, feeling numb, his chest feeling tight and an undeniable ache in his chest. Then, there's a sound of the front door unlocking, distinct voices coming from outside his room. He curiously gets up, confused as to who is in his his apartment at this hour, listening intently to the conversation.

"You always knew, this whole fucking time, why can't you get it through your head?"

"I fell in love with you, asshole."

"Well, it's a bit unfortunate that I'm gay," Harry retorts, raising his voice. Louis smiles a little, still not interrupting the feud with who he assumes is Josie.

"It's unfortunate that we're getting married then, huh? What are you gonna tell your little boy toy? You can do so much better, Harry."

Louis winces, trying not to take so much hurt from her words, which, were clearly said in spite.

"Fuck you, he's the best thing I've ever had. Get out, this isn't your place!"

"It isn't yours either, don't know why you stooped so low that you're living with a broke coffee shop boy," Josie hisses. Louis tries to peak through the gap of his door but instead, he only kicks it closed, causing a loud sound to echo through the apartment, resulting in a sudden silence.

Louis curses under his breath, quickly getting under the covers. The light seeping through the crack of the door vanishes, his door is opened and Louis keeps his eyes shut, tears clinging to his eyelashes like dew after a storm.

"Lou," Harry whispers, Louis opens his eyes slightly. Harry is pulling off his shirt, making the pit of Louis' stomach spike.

"Are you getting married to Josie?" Louis asks, blunt and strained as he hasn't spoken in a while. Harry tenses up as he sits next to Louis on his respective side of the bed.

"I don't want to," Harry whispers.

"That doesn't answer my question," Louis finally sits up, his cheeks cold from wet tears. Harry notices and tries to move closer, but Louis prods at his chest. "Are you getting married to Josie?"

"Management says if I don't-"

"Yes or no," Louis interrupts, his tone coming out louder than he anticipated.

"Yes," Harry says, quiet. He reaches for Louis again, yet Louis continues to push him away.

"I don't want to be scared anymore," Louis whispers, the tension dimming. "It doesn't feel real."

"What doesn't feel real?" Harry asks, just as quiet.

Louis gestures between the two of them. "This."

"How I feel is very real, it's terrifying," Harry tells him, moving closer so that Louis can feel his breath on his ear. "I've never felt like this. Ever."

Louis shivers, the pit of stomach heating up. At first he doesn't say or do anything. Then, suddenly he throws his leg over his lap so that he's straddling Harry. "Then prove it."

"Yeah?" Harry laughs, his dimples forming in his cheeks. Even with only the moon giving them light Louis can see the bright smile shining through the dark.

"Yeah," Louis sighs contently, smiling back at him. Louis slightly adjusts his hips, a shift in tension occurs between them, from heavy to heated.

"Fuck," Harry breathes, tilting his head down to bury his face into Louis' neck, kissing the skin there over and over, breathing him in. "Shit, Louis."

Louis throws his head back, breathing unevenly, giving Harry access to the flesh on his neck.

"Harry," Louis shudders when Harry kisses wetly at the hinge of his jaw. He threads his hands into Harry's curls, soft beneath his fingers, and pulls him back up to his mouth. Louis doesn't think he's ever wanted anybody, anything more in his life than this, and he sure didn't expect it to be a boy. He feels like he might be in pure bliss with the wet press of their mouths, the heat of Harry's hands sliding down his back to his hips. He feels safe.

Louis' skin is smooth and hot under Harry's fingers, and Harry undresses him sluggish and impatient, licking into each other's mouths wet and warm. The moonlight shines on their moulded bodies like it's a sign, Harry trailing his fingers quick over Louis' thighs, sucking at his collarbone, leaving marks with muffled 'mine's into his skin.

"I like you way more than I should," Harry gasps out between kisses. "You're so beautiful. I've always wanted to tell you that, ever since that day we met in the café."

"Harry," Louis says, because he can't say anything else. He doesn't know what to say.

Everything just feels right just the way it is.

When they're done, they so tired it's inevitable that sleep will take over any moment. In their bed, Louis feels completely content, their bodies hot and sticky together under the sheets. It should be uncomfortable but Louis has never felt more safe wrapped in Harry's arms and engulfed in his body heat. He falls asleep that night to the sound of his heart beating steadily under his head.

~

Everything seems to fall into place. Harry never stays with Josie anymore, choosing to come home to Louis. Home. Something about Harry calling Louis' apartment home just made him feel like he matters, he adores Harry there's no doubt about it now. It's strange how his mindset has changed drastically over the last month, from being in denial about even remotely wanting Harry around to being content with who he is, feeling more loved and cherished than he's ever felt.

It's odd. It also kills him when he can't just bring Harry up with his friends. Too scared of losing them.

Harry reminds him that he doesn't have to if he doesn't feel ready, making this clear to him. Although, Louis feels like he knows who his real friends are. Even if there's only two of them.

So, the next time Niall and Ariana come over, he plans on telling them. He just doesn't know how, or when.

They're watching Carrie, Louis taking up majority of the couch, Niall is sat with Louis' feet on his lap and Ariana cuddled up to him, hiding her face in his chest at the significantly scary parts. He knows Harry's going to come home in around an hour, might as well distract Ariana so her face isn't just buried in his shirt.

"Hey. Ari, Ni," Louis says softly, resulting in both of them turning their heads to look at him.

"What's up?" Ariana hums, her eyes a little glossy. Louis will remember to tease her later.

Louis hesitates, clearing his throat. "I need to tell you both something."

They don't say anything, just nod and encourage him to continue. He shudders out a shaky breath. Ariana notices, lacing her fingers with his, squeezing his hand as reassurance.

"So, you remember Harry, right?" Louis asks, laughing nervously. They both nod. "He..kinda lives here. With me. Now."

"Wait-"

"Called it-"

Ariana sits up, laughing outwardly. "I could tell, I literally told Niall this I-"

"How could you tell?" Niall interrupts, his brows furrowed. Louis watches them both bicker, not even asking the obvious question.

"For starters, you have a lot more food and movies than you used to and you don't earn enough to spend your money on random shit like that," Ariana prods at Louis' chest, smirking cheekily.

"And?" Niall says.

"And.....Louis doesn't have fancy expensive ass clothes like that fucking suit I saw on his bed," Ariana says, Niall makes a face making it evident that she made a good point.

"Alright Sherlock, can you tell me what I had for breakfast?" Niall teases. Ariana rolls her eyes, ignoring his remark.

"Is Harry on the couch then?" Ariana snorts, turning back to Louis. He tenses, noticeably at that too.

"No, he sleeps...in my bed...with me?"

"Oh," Ariana says. Niall watches carefully, obvious inner turmoil written in his features.

"Yeah," Louis says, voice strained. A smile grows on her lips, she leans forward and whispers.

"It's okay, you have that 'I'm having good sex vibe' radiating off you like the fucking sun," Ariana snickers, making Niall grow frustrated with the exclusion of the joke.

Louis pushes her off the couch, she shrieks from the fall.

"Hey!" Ariana huffs, looking rather frazzled sat on the floor. "It's a good thing!"

"I'm confused," Niall says as if it's an announcement. Louis grins, shaking his head fondly at his friends.

"Don't be a wuss," Louis rolls his eyes, smiling widely.

"Go suck a dick," Ariana pouts, scrunching up her nose. "Oh wait."

Niall lets out a bark of laughter, Louis aiming to kick Niall on the floor as well.

It continues like that. Loud laughter, Ariana crawling on top of Louis attempting to tickle him until he can't breathe and Niall still on the floor, trying to catch his breath as he cackles with tears in his eyes. Nothing has felt like it has changed, everything just feels the same. Just a little happier, and maybe the only thing that could make this moment better would be Harry.

An hour passes, Niall has already left saying he has an early shift tomorrow to which Ariana points and laughs at him like she wasn't the one who roasted him on. Louis and Ariana decide to have a few drinks, have some movies playing in the background and catch up on things.

"Hey," Ariana says, breaking the short silence.

"Hey," Louis snorts. She's clinging onto him again, their legs slotted together and her arms around his wait. She rests her chin on his chest, looking up at him with a dimpled smile. She reminds him of Harry in a way.

"Does Harry treat you well?" She asks, playing with Louis' fingers absentmindedly.

"Like a princess," Louis grins, she laughs even if it wasn't meant to be that funny. Louis really loves Ariana, he really couldn't ask for a better best friend.

"Can I be your best man?" She asks with amusement.

"There's two faults in that plan I'm afraid," Louis says, laughing softly at her frown. "First of all, you're not a man."

"Fine, maid of honour," Ariana huffs. "Does that make you the bride?"

"I guess so....but are you forgetting this can't _legally_ happen," Louis says, worrying on his lip. Ariana nods, resting her head on his chest again.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"I know he loves me so it's okay," Louis tells her gently, playing with her hair, feeling like silk on his fingers. He can feel her smile on his chest.

The door opens, Louis perking up instantly.

"Lou, you wouldn't fucking believe the meeting I just had. I hate my managers, and Josie, that bitch told them about you-" Harry's rant comes to a halt once noticing the familiar female cuddled up with Louis on the couch. "Oh. Hi, Ariana. You're here."

Ariana snorts. "Yeah, just catching up with my bestie here," she says, sitting up and patting Louis' chest.

"Sorry, I- Sorry, I can leave you both if you want?" Harry offers, to which Louis is quick to jump up from the couch, almost knocking Ariana off with him.

"No, you're not leaving," Louis huffs, striding over to Harry to wrap his arms around his shoulders, pushing up on his toes to reach over. Harry hesitantly lets his arms hang loosely around Louis' waist, the action delicate and cautious.

"I know about you guys, Louis told us," Ariana tells Harry, noticing the way Harry's eyes keep flicking back to her nervously.

"Us?" Harry says, pulling away slightly so that Louis is pressed into his side.

"Niall and I," Ariana clarifies, smiling to provide reassurance.

"Oh yeah, you told me about Niall," Harry muses, looking down at Louis. He is clinging to his side like he's afraid he'll leave, his eyes portray hope.

"Great. Glad we got that cleared up, so don't hold back in front of me, just don't tell anyone else. Niall and I are in the small percentage of people that don't have their heads up their ass," Ariana warns, "I'm not even sure if Niall realised what Louis implied when he told us but I know he would love you no matter what, Lou."

Louis' eyes tear up, he results to staring up at the ceiling for a moment. To collect himself. "Thank you, I was so scared. To tell you both. You're all I have outside of Harry."

"I would never. I can't speak for everyone else though, be cautious," Ariana says, frowning slightly.

"I have to marry Josie next week," Harry blurts. The room turns dead silent. Ariana looks more dumbfounded than Louis, surprisingly.

"Huh?" She manages, blinking rapidly.

"My managers say if we really want to put the rumours to an end—which I don't—I have to get married to her, since there's no way the rumours will be taken seriously after that," Harry explains, quoting his PR managers mockingly.

Harry will admit, he really doesn't want undoubtably one of the closest people to Louis to lose all respect for him. He feels like he's trying to impress his family. Which, Ariana is the closest thing to it from what he's been told and, it's quite obvious in how they interact. He's never seen best friends so affectionate in a way that's completely platonic. 

"There's nothing you can do?" Ariana asks, her voice meek and concerned. Harry looks up, gnawing at his lip.

"I've tried everything," Harry sighs defeatedly. Ariana pulls at her hair, Harry doesn't even notice the warmth leave his side, Louis is nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Lou?" Harry asks, Ariana's panic comes to instant halt. She looks up, around, she looks like she's about to faint. Then, she's out the door. She's gone.

Harry tries to breathe steadily, he feel like he can't breathe. There's a palpable silence that's settled in the room.

He ponders. Pacing around the room, checking the bedroom. Nothing. Looks outside. Nothing. All he feels like he can really do is sink onto the floor and pray that the wood will swallow him whole.

"Harry?" 

It was Ariana. She's back.

"Hmph? Where's Lou?" Harry looks up at her, she's frowning down at him.

"He's getting some fresh air is all, don't worry love," Ariana kneels down beside him, she places a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Harry sighs. "Thank you."

Ariana tilts her head, her brows furrowed in clear confusion. "What are you thanking me _for?"_

_"For being a good friend to him, even when you found about...."_

"Hey," Ariana interrupts, her voice gentle. "I know you're surrounded by bigots and who you are may seem really suffocating as it's hard to just...exist." 

She pauses. 

"I'm not one of those people, it's okay." 

"He's so lucky, so so lucky," Harry hides his face in his hands. "To have you. Someone who feels like family." 

"What about you?" Ariana asks, sitting beside him now. Their knees knock together as she adjusts, resulting in both of them giggling. 

"What about me?" Harry asks, genuinely not understanding what she's implying. 

"Who's your family?" Ariana asks, her words slow emphasising her hesitancy. 

Harry hums thoughtfully, but it quick to answer. "Louis." 

"Only him?" 

"Only him." 

"I'm sorry," she sighs, watching Harry cautiously. 

"It's fine," Harry says with a small smile. "He's everything I need." 

"You know," Ariana says, smiling at him. "You will always be apart of our family." 

Harry looks at her, his eyes watering and he reaches for her hand. "Thank you. Honestly." 

"Harry," she smiles sadly, patting his cheek gently. "Your life is going to be very difficult." 

Harry sighs, he knows he's crying but so is Ariana, so it feels okay. It's okay to be hurt. He doesn't know what else to say, he just nods once. Because he knows, he knows how hard it's going to be. 

Ariana props herself up, managing to stand up with her legs giving in. "I'm going to leave you two to talk." 

At first, Harry doesn't quite know what she's talking about but as his eyes follow her out the door, he sees Louis leaning against the wall beside it. Harry stands up, striding towards him until he has him in his arms, limp and shaken. 

"Hey," Harry says, lifting Louis' chin up with his finger tips so their eyes meet. "We don't have to talk." 

He kisses the corner of his mouth. 

We don't _need_ to talk." 

He kisses the other side. 

"We can just..." 

Harry kisses him, his hands finding their way to his jaw, cupping his face in his hands. Harry can feel Louis smile into his lips. 

"See?" Harry huffs a laugh. "There's that wonderful smile." 

Louis rolls his eyes, pushing at his chest but not enough to push him away. "I hate you." 

"No you don't," Harry grins cheekily. 

"I know, I hate it." 

Harry laughs, kissing both his cheeks incessantly until Louis scrunches his nose in distaste. 

"You're literally suffocating me with all this affection," Louis giggles when Harry kisses his wrinkled nose. 

"At least you're smiling," Harry sighs contently. "And you're here with me. That's all that matters." 

Louis nods, dropping his head and resting it on his shoulder. For once, Louis wasn't thinking about what's to come but what's happening in the given moment, he feels okay. 

There's a silent reassurance, Louis' senses still on fire. He can't stop grinning because in the midst of it all, Harry is in love with him no matter what a piece of paper says. No piece of paper even begins to define the love they have for each other. 


End file.
